You’re Not Broken, You’re Just Dysregulated: Nervous System Healing for Anxiety, Burnout & Emotional Triggers

Summary

In this episode, Layla Dawn explores the critical role of nervous system regulation in personal healing and growth. She discusses how dysregulation can manifest in various physical and emotional symptoms, emphasizing that true healing requires a balance between mindset and body awareness. Through practical tools and insights, listeners are guided on how to cultivate a regulated nervous system, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and peaceful life.

Takeaways

The real reason for feeling overwhelmed is often a dysregulated nervous system.
Nervous system regulation is the missing link in healing journeys.
Small, consistent practices can lead to significant changes in well-being.
You don't need to hustle harder; you need to feel safe.
Dysregulated nervous systems can lead to chronic stress and various health issues.
Mindset work alone is insufficient without nervous system regulation.
Breathwork is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system.
Practices like meditation and grounding can help rewire the nervous system.
It's essential to notice your body's cues and interrupt stress spirals.
Creating a sense of safety is crucial for emotional and physical resilience.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Nervous System Regulation
02:46 The Impact of Dysregulation
11:33 The Science Behind the Nervous System
14:01 Survival Responses and Regulation
17:12 Factors Leading to Dysregulation
18:50 Understanding Chronic Stress and Its Effects
23:07 The Importance of Nervous System Regulation
23:22 Practical Tools for Nervous System Regulation
32:04 Transforming Your Life Through Safety and Stability

Sound Bites

"Nervous system regulation is a skill."
"You can't outthink your body."
"You deserve to feel safe and whole."

Transcript

0:00

What if I told you the real reason you're overwhelmed or shut down isn't your mind? It's your nervous system? today we're talking about nervous system regulation. What it really is, why it's the missing link. in most healing journeys, why we're so dysregulated, how we become dysregulated in the first place. and how small consistent practice is. can create massive changes. You don't need to hustle harder to feel better. You need to help your body remember what safety feels like. Hi friends, welcome to the Do Life podcast where we talk about life, its challenges, and some clever ways to tackle some of those common issues with science-backed technology and strategies, a pinch of metaphysical properties. I'm your host, Life Coach Layla, and I wear many hats. I am a trained facilitator in the six phase meditation system. I'm a life and business coach. I'm a travel agent at the mermaid division travel. I am a professional mermaid at Sirens Layla Entertainment and What do all of these things have in common? Well, they're all ways to regulate your nervous system. And I didn't even realize that I was gravitating towards these things for the longest time. I knew there was a link, but I couldn't figure out what it was. when you think about being a professional mermaid, what is that? That is connecting to your childhood. That is, that's play time. That's playfulness. That's... It's fun. That is regulating your nervous system. As a travel agent, I love to live vicariously and planning other people's vacations and hearing all about their experiences. I get so much joy from that. regularly vacationing and travel traveling is a way to reset your nervous system. As a life and business coach, having those mind-shifts, that change in perspective, will help regulate your nervous system. You're all stressed out and worried about this thing. And then all of a sudden you realize it's not that deep. And I think it goes on how being a meditation facilitator will help regulate your nervous system. And for those of you who are unaware, the first Monday of every month, as of the recording of this video, I am doing monthly mermaid meditations at 7 p.m. Central Standard Time. and I do those live here on YouTube. So if you'd like to join me to help regulate your nervous system, I would love to have you. I will go into a little bit more detail on different ways we can regulate our nervous system a little bit later in the episode. But for now, I wanna talk about... Why I believe nervous system regulation is the key. It's the missing link to so many people's journeys in. healing and productivity and growth. It's not just a buzz-worthy word, it's biological. And if you've ever felt yourself doing all the things, meditating, journaling, visual, visualizing, but still feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and kind of burnt out, This episode is for you. Let's start with why this matters. So a dysregulated nervous system can feel like being on a constant roller coaster with intense emotions, heightened sensitivity, and difficulty regulating physical and mental responses. When it's dysregulated, your body gets stuck in survival mode. It's constantly scanning for danger, even when there isn't any. Do you ever know someone who's just constantly jumpy? That may have been a sign that their body was stuck in fight or flight mode. If your system stays dysregulated for too long, it starts to wear down your entire being. Over chronic dysregulation can lead to sensory and cognitive issues such as heightened sense to stimuli, sounds, lights, touch, any other sensory insights leading to overwhelm and a feeling of easily triggered. It can lead to difficulty concentrating and focusing, brain fog, mental fatigue. impaired executive functioning skills like planning and organization. memory problems and poor recall, difficulty retaining information. maintaining focus, poor judgment and... increased negativity. anxiety, depression, irritability, mood swings, short temper, difficulty managing emotional responses occur and personal relationships can suffer because of this. Some physical symptoms can include things like Digestive issues like irritable bowel syndrome, nausea, ulcers, acid reflux, and any other digestive disturbances. Sleep problems, insomnia, trouble falling or staying asleep, disturbed or dysregulated sleep patterns. I knew someone who was suffering from a deep, deep case of chronic fatigue. It was actually like a clinical diagnosis, but she would wake up and go, like she could never just like, good morning. Hi, how are you? It was just like she was being brought back to life every time she fell asleep because her sleep system was so dysregulated. She couldn't relax enough to get a nice relaxing deep sleep. She couldn't just be at peace. Her body was so stuck in fight or flight that her body couldn't relax. So anytime she fell asleep, it wasn't good, regulative sleep and her brain. it was just, it was a whole thing that was kind of an effect of this. We may or may not get into that a little later, but Where was I? yeah, sleep disruptions, burnout, fatigue. exhaustion, after adequate rest? hormonal imbalances such as early signs of aging, hair loss, early graying, skin issues. muscle tensions and aches, headaches, new chronic disorder, body aches, rapid heart rate, palpitations, chest pains, changes in your heart rate and rhythm. changes in appetite and eating more or less than usual changes an appetite in general. weight gain or loss can be observed. A lot of times when your body's stuck in super stress mode, it has a hard time releasing weight because it doesn't know what's going on. when you're stressed for longer periods of time because it doesn't know... what the stress is per se, like is it a famine? Is it a tiger? Is it imminent danger? parts of your body shut off because it's supposed to be temporary. So sometimes you may hold on to weight a lot longer than you can. It's harder for you to release weight. You could be doing the same diet that cause you lose 55 pounds years ago and now you do it and it doesn't work because you're stressed and your body won't let that go. Or it could be the opposite. You could be just not making any dietary changes, but because you're so stressed out, your body is burning all of your fat resources to feed your brain and you may find you're losing weight at a rapid pace. So could be either or depending on your situation and your body's response to it. which could also lead to excessive sweating, especially in the palms, under your arms. If you never used to like soak through your shirts and all of a sudden you do like, I'm not a big sweater for some reason. Probably I say for some reason is probably because I'm part Arab, but uh I don't sweat a lot. And I know people that, you know, we'll go for a walk and they've got to go home and change clothes because they're just drenched. And if that's something that's new to you, that might be a sign. If you start to notice immune system dysfunctions like you're more susceptible to being sick or catching diseases or new illnesses that can be a problem. There's also other issues like behavioral changes, isolating oneself, nervous habits and relying on substances to relax. If you have a difficulty managing stress, feeling overwhelmed, easily triggered. by everyday situations, even difficulty trusting anyone or listening to your own intuition. trouble forming or maintaining relationships, a constant sense of being on edge or distracted from your body or disconnected from your body. And sometimes people appear to be on drugs or stimulants. I've, I've had multiple people in my life that were so stressed out that I thought they were speeding. I thought they were on meth or cocaine or crack or some sort of like upper. that just had them all over the place. And really it was just a severe case of dysregulation. Like they were just on such high alert that their brains weren't functioning on a normal level. And I'm not necessarily talking about that extreme sense in this episode, but it is something to be mindful of. Because these aren't just emotional, it's physiological. Your body forgets what it feels like to be safe. And that's so sad. But the good news is regulation is a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and mastered. gently and gradually. It's also important to remember the, or consider the possibility of dysautonomia, dysautonomia, dysautonomia, autonomia, however you say it. um Overactivity in the nervous system can be a symptom of dysautonomia. It's a condition where your autonomic nervous system which controls involuntary functions like heart rate and digestion is not functioning correctly. an overactive nervous system can be a result varying factors including stress, anxiety, trauma, and underlying medical conditions. You should seek help, seek professional help from a doctor or therapist if you're experiencing persistent or concerning symptoms. of an overactive nervous system. I mentioned the friend who had severe symptoms and that's what brings me to this. Like I'm not discussing how we can help regulate something of that extreme nature, but I want to help get regulated before it gets to that degree. So if we can regulate on a regular daily basis so we're not stuck in that, I think we're for the better. I'm not here to treat or diagnose anything. So go talk to a doctor before you do anything I suggest. However, in any episode forever. Amen. ah So when your nervous system is regulated, you feel calm, balanced, creative, present. You're emotionally flexible, capable of handling challenges in a state of relaxation. You might experience steady breathing, relaxed muscles, a clear mind. This regulated state allows the body to effectively manage stress and maintain equilibrium. When the nervous system is regulated, can better manage stress, improve focus and productivity, enhance physical resilience and support emotional wellbeing. Let's get into the science a little bit. Nervous system regulation refers to the ability of the body to respond to stressors and recover. while maintaining a sense of calm and balance. your nervous system is your body's communication superhighway. It controls how you respond to stress, how you feel emotions, how well you sleep, how clearly you think, pretty much everything that makes you feel like you. So scientifically speaking, your nervous system is made up of two parts. Your central nervous system, which is your brain and your spine. and your peripheral nervous system, which includes the autonomic nervous system, which is where your emotional regulation lives. So the autonomic nervous system has two key branches, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system. is your gas pedal. It's responsible for fight or flight. And your parasympathetic nervous system is your brake pedal, which includes rest and digestion and healing. So nervous system regulation means these two branches are working together. in balance. It doesn't mean you're always calm. It means your body can shift smoothly between alertness and rest, stress and safety. when it's appropriate. So your nervous system is your body's internal surveillance system. It's constantly scanning for safety or danger and it decides, often without your conscious input, how you should respond. Most people have heard of fight or flight, but there's actually four. It's fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. So fight is obviously snappy, irritated, hyperactive, on edge, alert, aggressive. Your... Your is anxious, restless, busy, running... in motion. Your freeze. Shut down, numb, disassociate, don't move, hide, isolate. Fawn is... people pleasing, abandon, self abandoning, appeasing, going out of their way to keep the peace and make everybody happy. any of these sound familiar? These are survival responses, not personality flaws. And with awareness and consistent gentle practices, you can teach your body how to return to safety. That's nervous system regulation. And now here's where many people get stuck. They do all the mindset work, the vision boards, the meditations, even therapy, but they're still dysregulated. Why? because you can't out think your body. That was a hard one for me to learn. So why we're doing this episode, I do these episodes on things that I've learned recently or in the past or whenever that have been super impactful in my life and learning to get out of my head and into my body was hard. I am a very thought. focused person. very analytical. I'm very problem solving. I'm very think it through. Give me a moment to gather my thoughts before I can have a conversation like that is me. I'm in my head and to learn how to get out of my head and be present and be in my body and be aware of why my body is reacting to the way it does was so integral in my growth and my healing journey and then to learn how to help my brain and body work together as opposed to fighting against each other in dysregulation was so impactful. That is why we're having this whole episode and I want to share this with you. So learning that you can't out think your body. The nervous system doesn't speak in affirmations. It speaks in sensations and patterns and repetition. You can say, I'm calm, but when your breath is shallow, your shoulders are up to your ears and your body's not buying it. And neither is anybody looking at you. And that's why a lot of times words of affirmations don't necessarily work. If you're sitting in the mirror and you're like, I'm rich, I'm this, but meanwhile you're stressing over opening the mail because you don't know when the last time you paid your power bill was like, that's not how manifestation works. We're not going to get into manifestation today. I have other episodes on manifestation if you want to go look into them. But like a lot of people will try to manifest with just words and affirmations and it doesn't work because in order for a manifestation to work, you have to embody it. You have to feel it in your body and in your senses. And that's all I'm going to say about that in this episode. But as far as regulating your nervous system, it's the same way you can tell yourself, I'm calm, I'm calm, I'm calm, all you want. But if your body isn't calm, you're not doing any good. You're not, you're just lying to yourself. And that's going to cause further implications down the road when you are trying to regulate things. to truly shift, you need to regulate from the bottom up. That means you need to notice your body's cues. You need to interrupt stress spirals. and you need to re-pattern your responses with consistent practice. So before we get into any of the solutions, let's discuss How do we end up in this cycle in the first place? There's a couple main key factors to nervous system dysregulation how we get stuck in this cycle. So unprocessed trauma. This could be big obvious trauma or smaller ongoing stressors. When your body experiences something overwhelming and doesn't get a chance to... complete the stress cycle. that survival energy gets stuck in the system. My biological mother had one traumatic stressor after another after another happen and she was never quite able to re-regulate her system. And it got to the point where I thought she was on drugs and stimulants because she was so alert and on edge and high everything. And it was really just her body stuck. in the fight or flight response. her nervous system was dysregulated because there was back to back to back unprocessed trauma. It was a couple little things that happened and then a couple big things and she never had a break and never had a chance to process any of that. And so she stayed in a state of dysregulation and eventually progressed to levels that need to be dealt with on a professional medical basis. So unprocessed trauma and then there's chronic stress, which is slightly different. Chronic stress could be a toxic job or relationship. It could be poor caregiving, financial instability. or just living in a go-go-go culture. when you don't get breaks to rest and recover. your nervous system starts thinking that hypervigilance is normal. I have a friend of mine who's going through a rough divorce, a custody battle, this and this and that, and it's been ongoing for years. There just seems to be a constant. Conflict between the parents like it he said she said this this this everything either one of them does is brought to court and it's costing a lot of money and it's just a poor situation and then trying to be a good parent on top of this and not have it affect the child and not have the child Overhear these things or be affected by it It's it's a very stressful situation to be in and I can see that their body has signs of a dysregulated nervous system and they have problems trusting people, they have problems opening up to people, they have dysregulated sleep cycles, they can't really think straight or handle any more stressors, they are, there's a lot of symptoms. And I'm sure it's because of the chronic stress. Again, I'm not a doctor, I can't diagnose anything, but I can see the signs. So you've got your unprocessed trauma, chronic stress, early conditioning. there's a chance the child might grow up with a dysregulated nervous system because of all of these stressors and factors, even though they're doing their best to eliminate that from happening. If you emotionally or physically. on alert even when nothing was wrong. And then you've got internalized pressure. High achievers, caregivers, perfectionists. and parents often override their bodies? They push through the pain, they ignore the exhaustion. and keep showing up for others. leaving no room to regulate themselves. My brain immediately goes to a new mom. It's just something that we do. You have a lack of sleep. The baby's up every two hours, needs to be fed. You're not sleeping. You're sacrificing yourself to make sure this tiny human survives. And not to mention, Even when you are asleep, you're not asleep. There's that constant paranoia. Is the baby breathing? Are they alive? Did they make a sound? Did I hear them cry? You're not sleeping even when you're sleeping because you're stressed. You're on high alert. You're up. Your nervous system is 100 % dysregulated when you have a baby. At least mine was. I can't speak for everybody, but I will say that mine was. And a lot of times you don't ever forget. You don't ever remember to reset that. you just stay in that sacrificial mode. And that's not to say that there's anything wrong with that because as parents that's just a thing that we do. But at some point you need to get back to regulation. You need to get back to it's okay to sleep. It's okay to be at peace and you need to train your body that. My kids are grown and I'm almost fully an empty nester. I have one who's left and come back and my youngest and it's... It's still hard for me to not be on constant alert, like the baby's crying, do they need me? So internalized pressure often happens with high achievers, new moms, old moms, dads, parents in general. And what happens is your mind says, I want calm, I want peace, I want clarity. but your body is still stuck in a loop that says, be on guard, stay small, fight, freeze, run. And when you stay stuck in that loop too long, doesn't just impact your mood, it impacts your life. Your whole life. And that's why mindset work on its own often falls short. To break the loop, need to engage the body directly to have... You have to create felt experiences of safety over and over again until your nervous system trusts that it's okay to soften. And that's where the nervous system regulation becomes transformational. It bridges the gap between what you know in your mind and what you feel in your body. so you're no longer fighting yourself. So many people think they're failing because of lack of willpower or discipline. And in reality, their nervous system is just stuck in survival mode. trying to protect them. And that's why I say mindset work is powerful. but only when it's paired. with nervous system work. Because true healing and growth starts when your body... feels safe enough to let your mind take over. So now that we've talked about. what nervous system regulation is and why so many people are stuck. Let's get into the good part. The how. You've probably heard about things like breath work. know you've heard me talk about meditation, grounding, somatic healing, somatic movements, or even vagus nerve stimulation. But what's actually happening when you do these things? So these are not just trendy self-care tools. These are biological recalibrators, scientifically proven to do the work that they claim to do. It's just funny how so many years of Eastern practices were frowned upon or made fun of because the science hadn't quite caught up to it. So I an event with Gwyneth Paltrow a couple months ago. And in the interview, she said that, you know, back in the early 90s, she was doing yoga and the tabloids labeled her as a witch. because they had no idea what yoga was. And yoga has definitely been altered by the Western culture more so than you could even imagine. But if you look into the Eastern culture of yoga and the practice of becoming one with yourself and focusing on your breath and your body and letting it flow and the energies, it's... so different than from what mainstream would have you believe it's just a fun little workout where you stretch and you get balance. There's a lot more to it. But I say that because back then it was made fun of and you didn't understand. If you would have talked about meditating, you'd have been labeled as a tree hugging hippie. And now there's even scientific benefits that show that hugging trees is good for your body. So I say all that to say that when I talk about, you know, a sprinkle of metaphysical properties in my research, it's because I feel like sometimes it takes the science a little while to catch up to what we already know in our inner knowing. And I'm not trying to get too woo woo on you here, but But when you think about people would have been made fun of for meditating back in the day and now you hear people like Steve Jobs and other very successful, well-known people say that they start every day with a meditation practice and then they've been scientifically studied and all of the beneficial research. So I just want to say if I mentioned something that you're not familiar with and there's maybe not as much scientific research, it's It's coming, it'll catch up eventually. But these aren't just new age gimmicky tools like meditation and yoga was 30, 40 years ago. I don't know, how long ago was the 90s? 30 years? Ew, ew. Anyway. biological recalibrators. work because they directly engage the parts of your nervous system that are responsible for safety, connection, and regulation. So here's a breakdown of what's actually going on. in your brain. you're stuck in survival mode. The amygdala, your fear center. is hyperactive in your prefrontal cortex. your logical, thinking, rounded brain goes offline. practices like deep breathing, body scans. and mindfulness help quiet the amygdala. and reengage the prefrontal cortex. You're literally teaching your brain that I'm safe now and you don't have to be on alert. I don't have to be on alert. Whatever. and then in the body. your body learns through repetition. When you slow your breathing, move rhythmically, feel your feet on the ground. you activate the parasympathetic nervous system. the one responsible for rest and digest. over time, your body starts to default to calm instead of chaos. This is called neuroplasticity. your brain and nervous system are rewiring themselves. based on what you're repeatedly doing. So every time you take a deep breath. when you're angry or triggered and you come back to your body. When you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath. You're literally changing your baseline. And then what happens emotionally? Regulation practices send a powerful message to your inner world. that you're allowed to rest. You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to be safe. and that creates the foundation for transformation. The point is it never to get dysregulated. That's not realistic. The point is to recover faster. to know how to bring yourself back to center without judgment, without spiraling. Let me give you a few tools that you can begin to use right now. The power of breath. I know you've heard me talk about the physiological sigh before. The close your eyes, deep breath in through your nose, then out with an audible sigh. And if you can smile while doing it, even better. And then there's box breathing. You can start 4-4-4, 5-5-5. However, you can, like if you're in a panic state, obviously you can't breathe in for eight seconds. Somebody taught me this rather recently where you start your box breathing. breathe in four, hold four, out four, hold four. And then next you breathe in five, hold five, out five, hold five. And then you go to six, seven, all the way up to eight. By the time you get to eight, you should be nice and calm and regulated. And I love that because otherwise you could just sit there box breathing forever. And next thing you know, you're like, oh, it's dark now. um So, breath. Breath is so powerful and important when it comes to nervous system regulation and it's one of the easiest and quickest ways to regulate your nervous system in a pinch. know, when you're aggravated or somebody says something, the first thing you do is... almost habitually, you close your eyes and you take a deep breath in. And that gives you the sense of pause and the ability to make better judgments on whatever is about to happen. Again, utilizing your breath is how we... activate the parasympathetic nervous system to rest and digest, to calm. Number two is orientation. Look around your space slowly, get all of your senses involved, feel the air on your skin, use your fingertips and feel the ridges, feel every little thing, use your sense of touch, smell, smell. things in the air, close your eyes, see the patterns in between your eyelids, look at the shapes, dance around, hyper-focus on something calmly. This tells your brain we're safe, we're not in danger because you're focusing on something. Usually when you're super stressed, your eyes are darting all over the place and you're looking everywhere. When you focus on one thing, even if you leave your eyes open and you just focus on something that's calm, if you look up at the sky and the clouds and you're calm, you're telling your brain that we're not in danger. The third thing that you can do is somatic check-ins. which is where you ask yourself, why do I feel in my body? Is there anywhere I feel tension or pressure? tightness in my throat. Can I release that? And again, you're not coming from a sense of judgment, just acknowledgement, just awareness. Number four is obviously a meditation practice. I going to be big proponent of that, especially a daily meditation practice. It's not going to be an overnight change. So some of these things might be instant to help snap you out of the fight or flight in the moment, but something like a daily meditation practice is not going to keep you from feeling those things in the moment, but this will help you regulate on a more consistent basis. So where things used to trigger you aren't as triggering and it's not going to be something that you notice right away. It is going to be gradual, but the more you do it, the more regulated you're going to get. And fifth is obviously a forgiveness or gratitude practice where you learn to let go of things that you've held on to your, in your body. We talked about the triggers and the trauma that you didn't get to process or regulate. So coming up with some sort of weekly daily practice where you can identify those and release them and work on ways to let go of them and get them out of your body. There's lots of different therapies and all kinds of things that you can do in addition to that, but some sort of practice to, to heal. even if it's just going to therapy and having a conversation or talking to a coach or counselor. But those are some ways that you can work on regulating your nervous system on a deeper basis, on a more gradual basis. so these small consistent practices begin to shift your baseline from. survival to safety. These practices give you access to what I call your inner anchor. It's a felt sense of safety. and stability that no amount of external chaos. can take away from you. When your nervous system feels safe, your life starts to change. You stop overreacting and start responding. You start setting clear boundaries without guilt. You... have easier access to your creativity and clarity. You make better decisions. You think sharper, quicker. You stop hustling for safety and start embodying it. So I really hope you found value in this episode. Please let me know. Like, share, subscribe, leave me comments and reviews, do all the things, share this with someone that you think might benefit from this and let me know your thoughts. Like, is this something that you've suffered with? Do you know somebody that has? I could go on and on about the stories of the people that I know. I want to set them down and make them watch this and help them practice and do the things, but we're, we don't live in that kind of environment. So. Anyway, I appreciate you for being here and for taking the steps to further your growth and be better for you. So thank you for showing up for you. I love you and I appreciate you for being here. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel whole. You deserve a regulated nervous system. that supports your dreams and doesn't sabotage them. Let's go do life regulated. I love you. Bye.