Q&A Secrets Revealed

Summary

In this episode of the Do Life podcast, Layla Dawn shares her personal journey, exploring her background, family dynamics, parenting experiences, and relationships. She discusses her career path, the challenges of starting a podcast, and her struggles with burnout. Layla emphasizes the importance of progress over perfection and her desire to travel and live freely. This candid Q&A session provides insights into her life and the lessons she's learned along the way.

Takeaways

Layla was raised primarily by her grandparents due to her mother's struggles.

She has three biological daughters, with a unique family dynamic.

Layla has been in a long-term, off-and-on relationship for 15 years.

She values personal freedom over traditional marriage.

Her career includes being a life coach, travel agent, and podcast host.

Layla emphasizes the importance of nervous system regulation in her work.

She encourages progress over perfection in all endeavors.

Burnout is a significant struggle for her, affecting various aspects of her life.

Layla dreams of living in a van and traveling the world.

Parenting is one of her biggest challenges, requiring constant growth and learning. 

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Layla's Personal Journey

01:23 Exploring Layla's Background and Family Dynamics

08:51 Understanding Layla's Parenting and Children

13:18 Navigating Love and Relationships

24:13 Layla's Multifaceted Career and Purpose

25:59 Mindset Shifts and Nervous System Regulation

30:42 Career Journey and Job Loyalty

35:44 Transitioning to Life Coaching

39:46 The Joy of Helping Others

44:40 Starting a Podcast: Progress Over Perfection

47:08 Personal Struggles: Burnout and Parenting

Links
https://youtu.be/mLBPhBBeBCk Burnout

https://youtu.be/zi2SGIap6TI Finance

Do Life Website

www.layladawndoeslife.com

Certified Life and Business Coaching

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087296620862

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/layladawn/?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_feed%3BPgTMeoJKSceLs9UXfCGN6g%3D%3D

Mermaid Division

Facebook = https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61556390078729

Insta = https://www.instagram.com/mermaid_divi

Transcript

0:01

Hi friends, welcome to the Do Life podcast. I'm your host, Life Coach Layla, and today we're gonna do a one-off episode. I have been getting a lot of questions and I thought it would be maybe kind of fun to do a Q &A today. So if you're only here for self-help tips and want to learn about me personally, I will not be offended if you don't want to watch today's episode. That's totally okay. But if you would like to go deeper with me specifically and learn a little bit about my background, my history, my qualifications, and some of the weird things that have been rather confusing for a lot of you on the podcast, I am going to dive deep into my personal life today. Um, because I can see how it would be a bit confusing for some of you based on the things I've said. Um, I'm on multiple different platforms, so not just YouTube, but also Amazon music. basically anywhere that you can listen to your podcast except for Apple at the moment for whatever reason, uh, cause I don't have any Apple devices and it's being a big pain in the butt, but we're not going to get into all that today. Uh, so yeah, if you are interested in learning a little bit about me, let's. Get into it. So the first question I want to address is where do you come from? And that's very vague and could be interpreted multiple different ways. So where do I come from geographically? I am born and raised in St. Louis and a nice, not so nice neighborhood in North County to be specific. If you're from the area, you might. be aware of a little town called Castle Point when Ferguson was on the news a few years ago for riots and things. When I grew up, Ferguson was the nice area, if that tells you anything about where I'm from. If you mean genetically, because I do have a lot of exotic features, or at least that's how they've been described to me, my mother is... from, she's German and Irish and Welsh I think. My grandpa's family genetics come from England and Tennessee And my biological father is from Saudi Arabia. He and my siblings live in a small town. Well, it's like, it's not a small town at all. It's, they actually live in Jeddah in Saudi Arabia. And I don't. I don't really talk to them. ah My father and my mother split up when I was two because his parents were aging and he wanted to move back home to be with them, which is understandable. He wanted to take my mother and I with him and she was doing some research to learn about the culture and the language before we moved overseas to be there with them. And then she realized that she would have absolutely zero rights as a female in Saudi Arabia. that if my father decided to keep me and sent her home, wasn't really anything that she could do about it. So to protect us, she decided to not go to Saudi Arabia with him and kept me here, changed my name, all kinds of fun stuff. So. I have not seen him physically since I was two. A few years ago they did find me on social media. I had a brother reach out to me and then I connected with my sister. We had a few phone calls so I have talked to my siblings and it's quite awesome actually. My biological father was following me on a bunch of different social medias and I thought it was fun. I tagged him in things and And then it kind of dawned on me, why... I was looking at all of his travel videos and pictures and all the exotic places that he's gone and been to, and then it kind of dawned on me that he's traveled the world and hasn't made an attempt to see me or visit me or call me or have a conversation with me, and I got kind of angry about it, so I deleted him off of all my socials and kind of blocked him. I sent a message and never got a response and that was the validation that I needed. so there's that part of my life that you know now we were getting deep and juicy right off the bat. We're not even five minutes in and you got some history. em One of the other questions the next question and this kind of leads right into it. It's like what is the deal with your parents? You're raised by your mom. You're raised by your aunt and uncle. You're raised by your grandparents like what? What's real? Okay. So I want to say that I can see how that sounds very like untruthful. But the deal is when my dad left when I was two, My mother had me at a very young age. She was like 18 or 19 when she had me. And so they lived with my grandparents in St. Louis. and she met my dad while he was in college and he basically like moved in when they got married and everything else with grandparents. So then when he left, she stayed there and she did a lot of drugs. And so my grandma and grandpa were the ones who raised me for the majority of my life. Mom worked overnight. She wasn't home in the evening. She slept during It was a weird complicated situation. So I remember going to my neighbor's House her name was Naomi. She was ancient back then. I know she's been gone for quite a long time But she watched me a lot and then my grandparents my grandpa came home from work at like 7 in the morning so it was a weird schedule, but basically grandma and grandpa raised me and then Because I lived in a not so nice neighborhood, didn't really have a lot of friends. couldn't go outside and play. Nobody was allowed to come over to my house. I'd have to go to there, which meant I needed a ride and, you things. So my aunt and uncle lived across the river in a small town called Belleville, Illinois. And I had two cousins. I have three cousins, two boys and a sister, two boys and a girl. And I was basically like their foster child. was there every other weekend, every spring break, every summer vacation, any kind of holiday. So they essentially had like joint custody of me. Like they spent just as much time with me as most split homes spend with their children. So it got to be the point where I named them Aunt Mom and Uncle Dad and they're both gone now, but I do. Attribute a lot of my upbringing to them. So if you hear me talk about my mom in a happy good sense It's probably my aunt mom that I'm talking about my biological mother and I have never really got along We felt like cats and dogs my entire childhood She did a lot of things I didn't understand and didn't agree with and she couldn't explain to me and I was very much so a why child. I need to know why everything happens so I can understand it. Like once, even at work, in workplaces, if you tell me to do something, I need to know the why behind it. Either, you know, we're trying this new thing to see if it works or because this is directly tied to this and we're trying to do that. Once I understand why, I can totally implement it I can go all out. But if I don't understand why, I'm just like. Anyway, so we didn't really get along. And so when I say I was raised by my grandparents or my aunt, mom and uncle dad, it's not in an incestual type of way. It's more of just, that's how I was brought up. And my aunt, mom and uncle dad were more parents to me than my biological parents ever were. And so... Yeah, that's what I'm going to say about that. And I miss them and I appreciate everything that they did for me. and my child. Which brings me to the next question. Why is the situation with your kids so confusing? Okay, I understand that. So let me say, when I say I have three biological daughters, that means that uh they were all three born female. My youngest is non-binary. So they prefer to go by they them. And it's funny because their names were Hope, Faith, and Justice. And the oldest and youngest are not mine biologically, the middle one is. And it's just kind of funny that their names are that, and we didn't plan that or do that on purpose. The middle child is the only one that I gave birth to. So hopefully that clarifies some of the wording and verbiage that you'll hear me use when I talk about my children because I don't, it used to be like, yeah, I had three daughters and the youngest one, the oldest daughter, but because I want to be respectful of the youngest one's decisions to express themselves, I am. trying to be more mindful. also think it's super adorable that they changed their name from Finn, or from Faith to Finn, because I'm a mermaid, and we usually call our kids the Guppies when we're talking about them in general, and so the fact that their name is now almost kind of mermaid related, I think is adorable. It wasn't deliberate at all on their part, just kind of another weird coincidence with their names. So that's a fun thing. So a lot of times if you hear me talk about being a single mom, I was a single mom for a long time because it was just me and my middle child for the longest time. And I had a lot of help with raising her. had her grandparents on her father's side. They've been more of parents to me than a lot of people. can say that. When I was dating, I was really nervous to bring people around. I called them my un-in-laws for the longest time. They were my un-in-laws because I never actually married their son. I just had a child with them. But the un-in-laws were so accepting of me and part of their family that they meant more to me than sometimes even my own family. And the relationship that I have with them and the extended family, it's just, it's amazing. uh They're amazing people and I'm glad that I have them in my life and have had them for as long as I have. Me and my daughter's father get along really well now. We didn't used to. There was a weird period there, but we have a really good... dynamic now. Our daughter is in her 20s, in early 20s, so it's not like we have a lot of parenting to do, but we still have really good communication. A couple years ago, me and my current partner went on vacation with him and his girlfriend, and it's fun that everybody gets along. It's really healthy for the families, and I just wish that... More people could be like that and it didn't take us as long as it did for us to get along. But you know, things happen and we grow and we learn, right? It's not as easy for my current person to get along with his ex because she was abusive to the children. And it's just one of those things that it's kind of hard to forgive and play nice with. And these are things that have just recently come to... to our attention and so it's kind of hard to just like, yay let's pretend to be friends like no you're kind of suck as a human and nobody really likes you and everything's fake about you and I'm not gonna continue to blasphemize people on the internet but again I'm keeping everything as anonymous as humanly possible which brings me into my next question which is what exactly is your love life situation? And I've had several people like even in person ask me like, is everything okay? What is the deal? And the reason that this is so confusing is because I have been in uh a long-term relationship with the same partner for about 15 years. But it's been kind of off and on and a lot of our immediate friends and family don't realize that it's been as off as much as it has been. And so when I'm talking about him in the podcast, sometimes it's easier to call him my husband because it just makes sense in contextual purposes, but we're never legally married. That's not a thing that I personally want to do. Marriage was never anything I strive to achieve. I remember me and my best friend growing up, she would always like, we're to have a double wedding. I'm going to make the men wear dresses. She was always planning things and I was like, you do it everyone. I'm not going to get married. And she was like, yeah, you are. You're to get married. I'll just, we'll do a double wedding and you can get married with me and we'll do all the things. And it was like, okay, whatever. and I don't know why back then I didn't want to be married. think I just didn't like the idea of how trendy it was. Everybody wanted to be married and I was like, well, that seems stupid. I don't want to do it because everybody else wants to do it. None of it actually made sense. And then as I got older and I started looking into it, I was like, So your dad, you have your dad's last name and he gives you away to a man who you take his last name and that seems very possessive to me. And then I later found out that, you're a miss and then when you get married, you're an MRS in the United States. I don't know if that is how it works everywhere else, but that's basically misters. So you're property and I'm not property. So you'll see on a lot of my social medias and things, I omit my last name. I'm just Layla Dawn because I'm not a property and I hate that idea. Also, when I was looking into legalities and tax purposes, it was stupid for me to be married. It made more sense for me to be head of household and... and not share joint finances with anybody at all. I also don't necessarily believe that humans are meant to be monogamous creatures and mate for life. ah I like to look at a lot of indigenous tribes and that's usually not how that works. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. So it's kind of a coin flip. I really think it's just your personality. I also think it means more to me that my partner is still with me because he wants to be and not because he's contractually obligated. The less the government knows about my personal life, the better. Um, just because I don't trust them and I don't, I'm not going to get into all that, but yeah, they don't need to know what happens in my bedroom, um, on paper and I don't want to come. I don't, I don't need a contract to make somebody promise to do those. I don't want to be married. I never wanted to be married. So if I call on my husband and just because in some cultures, you know, we walked around an oak tree three times and clicked our hero, we're technically married. But legally, in the government's eyes, no, I am not married. So let's not confuse that. But he does fit the bill of a husband. And a lot of since we raised our children together, we've been friends for like 25 years or something crazy. was and also when I say my brother, I claim a brother and a sister. Those are my cousins. Those are my aunt, mom and uncle dad's children. And I was really, really close with two of them. So I consider them my brother and sister. And she has since passed. She did a lot of uh bad drugs and didn't end up well. And I had my nephews for a few years. So if you hear me talk about them, those were her children. And they always called me Aunt Layla since birth. And they were always really close with my biological daughter. So it's just a fun little family dynamic. We had a very close. family. When my uncle dad passed away, my aunt mom took my grandma and my biological mother and moved them into a house and they were all together. So it got real confusing, but it was fun because I'd be like, here's me and my two moms out for Mother's Day. And everyone thought that they were a couple, which is funny because they were biologically sisters. And it was just, it was just a mess, but fun. It was fun. so when I say that my partner was my brother's best friend, I mean, was like my cousin, biologically my cousin growing up. But because I was over there every other weekend, every spring break, you know, his friends were my friends and we're relatively close to the same age. So we all just kind of grew up together. And everybody assumed that I was from the small town in Illinois. And I was like, no, I'm from this city. I go to school in the ghetto and people try to shoot me and I get jumped on a regular basis and lots of fun things. Anyway. So yeah, so they were really good friends growing up and so I've been in his children's lives since they were born. I remember ah flirting with him at a buddy's birthday party and this chick walks in and she goes, you outside now. And he was like, well, I'll see you later boys. And he left and I asked my buddy, was like, hey, why is he with her? He just left a conversation with me to go to that. I was so confused. And then my buddy's like, well, he put a baby in her. And I was like, well, shit. And again, I was like 14 at the time. So that was terrifying. Like a baby. Oh, absolutely not. Mind you, three years later. Anyway, that was our age gap. both had children at 17, but, you know, he was a few years older than me. So that was a that was a fun thing. But yeah, I I remember like being around and friends with him while she was pregnant. And then, you know, the baby came and then by the time the youngest came around, or older too, we're already really good friends. At that point we, Me and him had worked together and he got me an apartment underneath his. And so the kids grew up together. They told the school they were cousins. And then it was funny because years later when me and him started dating, they told the school that they were sisters and the school had to call us like, hey, is there some weird like incest thing happening? And we're like, no, no, no. They were never actually cousins. We were always just good friends, but now we're dating. So they can say that they're sisters. The school was confused and we thought it was the funniest thing ever because the girls grew up together and they were all really good friends and so they lied and said they were cousins because that makes sense. It's what you do. I remember telling people that me and my best friend were cousins and stuff too. that's just kind of funny. So yeah, so the kids grew up together. So when we got together, they were actually really excited about it. I remember my oldest would come down and she would get ready with me and my daughter at the time, was just us living in the apartment. And she would come downstairs every morning and we would get ready for school together and I would do her hair. And it was just, it was a really fun dynamic. And so I've always loved his babies. Like they were my own, even before me and him were ever even thinking about being together. Like he was always just off limits to me, you know, he had a family, he was, you know, there was, there was none of that. I would never infringe on that and he was always like, oh, you're my buddy's little sister. I can't, you're off limits. And then things with his wife kind of fell apart and it was like, hey, how you doing? Kind of thing. And it was just funny. We got together. Everybody was like, oh, we knew you guys were going to get together. And I was like, really? You did? Because we didn't have a clue. Felt real stupid about that. anyway, so yes, I've been with him for like 15 years. I say off and on because things have been really rough. don't know if you believe in like twin flame relationships. There's a difference between twin flames and soulmates and I'm not gonna get into all that but let's just say people are like, I want a twin flame relationship. No, you don't. You don't want to be with your twin flame. It's most toxic obnoxious shit ever and The reason you two aren't together is like we're so alike, but also mirrored like a twin flame is like a mirror. So things are exactly the same and then things are polar opposite and you're there to teach each other lessons. So for 15 years, we've just been learning all kinds of stuff. as a mirror, they reflect back the parts of you that you don't want to acknowledge or tolerate or admit or see. And it's basically all of your shadows. So if you want to do 15 years of shadow work, if you even know what that is, go get you a twin flame relationship. but we've, we've done a lot of healing, a lot of growth. When I think of who we were as people 15 years ago, we're, we've definitely changed and evolved and it's been nice to grow together and have all these experiences. We've been through a lot. We've been through a lot of loss, a lot of growth. there's a lot And so yeah, I'll call him my partner. Sometimes if I'm at him or we're not together, he's my most recent partner because I just can't bring myself to call him my ex and because that's I don't want to bucket him with the rest of my exes. I don't know. It's just it's a weird dynamic. So the the verbiage I used to describe him changes often. And so when you hear me talk about my ex or exes, it's usually not ever him. I think there may have been one or two times I actually did mention him as an ex just for anonymity reasons. But most of the time, he's just my partner or my most recent partner or my current or my husband or whatever, my boyfriend, whatever I feel like calling him that day, depending on where he is emotionally. So I can see how that would be kind of confusing. I hope that clarifies some things a little bit at least um Next question Why do you do so much? ah That's very vague and I don't exactly know what you're asking. I'm going to assume it means like my jobs, my current positions, my careers. I'm a travel agent, I'm a podcast host, I'm a life and business coach, I'm a certified six phase meditation facilitator and a professional mermaid. So I know those sound like really off the wall things like that does sound like a lot, but when you break them all down, I specialize in nervous system regulation. As a travel agent, I think it's super important to get out of the everyday norm, do something different for your brain. It's good neurologically. And it's good for your nervous system to just kind of relax and reset. As a travel agent, I do all the planning and the booking and everything for you. So you can just like, here's my budget. Here's what I want to do. Here's how long I want to be gone and I can make it happen. you tell me what kind, if you want to go backpacking in Europe, if you want to go on a cruise or you just want to relax on a beach somewhere in an all-inclusive resort. Do you want to bring a family? You want to be romantic? Give me a couple details and I can take it and run with it. So I think it's also important as a travel agent to take all of the stress of the planning and everything off of your plate to enable better nervous system regulation. You just pack your bags and show up and I take care of everything else. So nervous system regulation as a travel agent, nervous system regulation as a life coach. I take what you... want to change about your life and help you implement it in new ways that you may not have even thought about before. uh I specialize in mindset shifts and when you're thinking about something, I can change the way you think about it to open up a whole new world of possibilities. And it takes a lot of stress and pressure off of you constantly trying to do something over and over and over unsuccessfully. So nervous system regulation. as a podcast host. This is a self-help podcast, maybe not this episode so much, but in general, I try to help you learn and understand yourself and your brain better to make your life easier. So this whole podcast is based on helping you live your life easier and be a better human and a less stressed person. Nervous system regulation. I am an entrepreneur. as an entrepreneur and building a business. It's directly tied to mostly like my life coach. But I've created courses, I'm doing free webinars, and they're all based on nervous system regulation. And embracing your dark feminine. So that'll be one that's coming out later this year that I'm working on. And I'm so excited about it Anyway, nervous system regulation. as a six phase meditation facilitator, nervous system regulation, like meditating is regulating your nervous system. We just do it specifically to where it trickles into your everyday existence and not just at the moment. Like you can do different breathing exercises that will regulate you in the moment, but a meditation practice will regulate you on a regular basis. And I'll do another episode on the six phase meditation specifically in the next couple of weeks just to explain how and why and the science behind all that. So we're not going to get into all that today. And then my job is a professional mermaid. So how does this tie into nervous system regulation? Well, it's easy. It is getting out of work and getting into play is just as important for us to go on vacation as it is for us to get out of our head and our everyday norms. So Some people might get lost in a good book. They might veg out and watch a movie. They might sit on the phone and talk to a girlfriend for an hour or whatever. There's a lot of things that you can do to woo-sah, to de-stress, to shift your brain from work mode to relax mode. And I think the best way that you can do that is through play. Do something fun. I don't want to bring sports into it. I know a lot of people watch sports or play sports, but I feel like that is, can be stressful depending on how competitive you are. So I don't want to add that to the list because sometimes that works the opposite. You're not relaxing, you're stressing. So when I think of uh nervous system regulation, I think of ways to relax yourself and When I put on a mermaid tail and I can swim in the water and just be graceful and I feel pretty and I'm living out my childhood dreams, I am so peaceful. So peaceful. I think I am more calm in the water in a mermaid tail than I am in bed asleep. And so all of the jobs that I have right now. are all based on nervous system regulation and they all tie in together. They all are ways for me to give back to people, to help them, not just help them regulate their nervous system, but also help them in general. my, is it my North node, South node? I forget which part of the planetary, I think it's my North node is basically I uh am a servant, but not like a slave or. made kind of servant, but like I am Like a here to help my people kind of servant like I'm here to help the masses I'm here to teach I'm here to train to help you learn and grow and develop so Any way that I can give back and I can serve other people I'm living in my purpose So yeah, so that's why I do so much I guess I hope that answers your question if that's not your question then I don't I don't know what to tell you It also ties into how many jobs have you had? A lot. I am, I will be the first to tell you that I have no job loyalty. I did at one point, I worked at Radio Shack for over eight years. I was the youngest manager ever promoted. I was a district manager in training. There's all kinds of things. And I just, I gave so much of my life to that company. And then when my uncle dad was dying, Took some time off and I made a mistake in something because you know my brain was all over the place This was a very stressful time for me and they fired me and when I think back to you all the things that I did for that company the time off I didn't take I got as a manager. I was allowed one day off a week. That's four days off a month I was allowed four days off a month. I was manager for over four years That's disgusting when you think about four days off a month. Yeah, yeah And then I learned about all these places in Europe and the ways that they treat their employees and the time off that they get and I was just absolutely disgusted with myself for being abused like that's abuse um a hundred percent I was being abused for like forty thousand dollars a year as a salaried manager and I would work 70 80 hours because I Caught people stealing and fired my whole staff and it was it was a mess So I will never, I've never ever to have any kind of job loyalty because they were so quick to replace me when I was going through a real life crisis. And when I just think of all the things I sacrificed for them, it made me disgusted. And so yeah, I will work. I worked at, I've worked at a lot of name brand places. I've worked at Sears. I worked at Lazy Boy. I worked at Alta, Macy's. I was a retail management for 20 years. I was district manager. did all kinds of fun things. So yeah, I would never stay in a job for too long. think Lazy Boy stayed out for five years. This was a really good job, but me and the manager didn't really get along very well and I got tired of covering up for her. then, then I basically worked as the liaison between her and her. mouth and her attitude and the rest of the store and kept them safe and motivated in ways that she wasn't capable of. And then uh she got in trouble for something and then blamed me for it and tried to write me up for it. And I absolutely refused. And instead, I just I was like, you know what? Here's my notice figured out. And then she was fired two months later because they realized that she was full of shit and it wasn't me. It was her. But anyway, that was too late. Too little, too late by then. I had moved on. But yeah, so I've done a lot of jobs because I have no, job loyalty and I don't care. There's no such thing as pensions anymore. People don't get rewarded for being in a place longer, especially like when I worked at Macy's There were people there that were like, oh, I've been here 22 years. I probably make more than you. And I'm like, good, I hope you do. And then when they would do reallocations of people, those people that had been there longest were the first people that they let go. And that made me sick to my stomach because you've got these older people who've dedicated their lives to work with this company who couldn't wait to replace them with someone who didn't know anything and that would just start off with minimum wage. So so yeah. No job security. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your life being loyal to a job who would have no problem replacing you the next day. So there's some life lessons there. See, this episode's not a complete waste Let's see, After retail management, I wanted to be my own boss. I thought for the longest time that my life goal was to be a district manager. And then as I got to be a district manager, I was like, wait, this is it. This isn't really fulfilling. This is that my life goals and dreams, there's gotta be more to life than this. So then I got out of the matrix and I tried to do the insurance thing. I was in health and life and I was doing finance at the same time. I was trying to get my series 65 certifications and I was doing all the studying and training. And then I just, it was kind of a gross situation to be in. Like in order to make money, The people that I worked with that were making really good money were doing shady things and I didn't want to do shady things. Making money wasn't that important to me and then to try to do things right would take two to three months and it was just, it was a lot more than I anticipated and I didn't have the patience for it. I don't even know if I can legally say. this because there so many rules and regulations on what I could and couldn't talk about in the specific area of insurance that I was doing. But I was basically helping elderly people figure out their medical plans with the government and I would spend hours interviewing them, asking them questions, figuring out exactly what it was that they needed and they wanted and then put them on the right plan, have everything good, follow up with them a year later to make sure that they didn't have any... medical changes or history that needed to be adjusted if we needed to change their medical plans or whatever. they would get mad at me and yell at me and say, you know, so and so called me from this company and said, you put me on the wrong plan and they put me on this plan. And then I would look it up and they just got scammed. And now they're mad at me and think I scammed them when I did the opposite because some random robo-caller called them and took advantage of them. So it made me Physically sick to my stomach to get off the phone with these clients and realize that now they're paying $100 a month that they would have never ever had to pay in their entire life because some scammer Scammed them and they think I'm the bad guy So I just I couldn't deal with that. I didn't want to be a part of a system like that So I got out of the insurance industry and I was trying to focus more on finance But then the more I got into finance the more I realized everything took forever I was part of a college planning. partnership and I love my people that I work with because they're good people and they really do try to help. There's college planning consultants if you want to look at my buddy John, he's amazing and he really does love what he does and really does try to help people but the government kept making it harder and harder and harder and every year they would change the rules and every year they're just It was just, it was gross. Like you would have three kids in college at the same time and the government used to give you discounts for each kid and then all of a sudden they're like, yeah, we're not going to do that anymore. You don't get any kind of discounts for multiple children. That's too bad for you. And it was disgusting because then people are paying three times what they normally would have had to pay and I'm trying to help them and I can't. So, um, that, that was disheartening. So yeah, just, didn't want to be a part, I wanted to do something where I could help people. And it seemed like all of those directions weren't actually helping people. So I ended up getting certified in life coaching. I thought life coaching at the time was just giving advice. Like, I give everybody advice all the time. I'll just go get certified. And then I do my training and it's like, you don't give advice. Like they find the answers from within. You have to just facilitate that thought process and change in them. And I'm like, oh, that's way harder than what I thought I was doing. And I love it because it is such a challenge. Every time I talk to somebody new, it's like, okay, let's get there. I see their potential and it's so hard not to be like, well, you should do this, this and this because that's, you know, helpfulness. I mean, wants to do that, but it's like, no, that's me coming from my experiences. Like that might not be what they need to do based on their experiences in their life. So it's a fun new way to look at it. And I absolutely love it. Like I love helping people, change their mindsets and, and shift the way they, they direct their lives. It's, amazing to be a part of that and see them grow and develop and change. So. I absolutely love what I do. And I love planning travel for people because I live vicariously through them. Like I get so excited about travel. Like I've had people reach out to me. I've never met them. I don't know anything about them. And I plan this trip for them. And I'm so excited about them. Like, let me hear all about it. Where'd you go? What'd you do? How did, did you see the kids? You know, like I, I don't know what it is, but it just, brings like this unparalleled sense of joy for me to, to be a part of this planning process with people. So. So yeah, I've had a lot of jobs and I'm really happy with what I do right now. Even like sitting here talking to you and just chatting is, this is a good time. I'm having fun. You got some popcorn, you got snacks, teas, are we drinking? What are we doing? I love it. Let's hang out. I've got a few more questions on the list. Somebody says, how do I start a podcast? What software do you use? So most of the time I'm recording on Riverside. I will share my sign up link. It's like an affiliate link. it doesn't charge you anything extra to sign up through them, but I will get a kickback if you sign up through my link. I like Riverside. I also use Buzzsprout to post all the other platforms. You don't really need a lot of equipment right now. I'm recording on my Google Pixel Pro 9 Ultra or whatever. don't know if Ultra is part of that. have two phones. So my other one's like a Samsung Galaxy something Ultra. But I like the Pixel better. Sometimes I have it set up through my laptop and I will use usually this webcam has been my go-to for the longest time. It wasn't always, but I like this feature. And then I will, like right now I'm just using the phone audio so it might not be that great of quality because I didn't feel like setting up the whole microphone and doing all that today for just like a little cute Q &A. But a lot of times I use my Scarlett i2i interface and microphone system. But I had that because I was a voice actress and I had a whole sound studio that I used. So I already had that equipment. But you can use pretty much any kind of microphone. I see so many people on their earbuds that have great audio quality. So if you want to start, you don't need a lot of fancy equipment or expensive software. You can just kind of record a Zoom call and post it without any editing. I sneeze and I itch my nose a lot and I fix my hair. And then I have my cats wander up and put their butthole on the camera. So I do a lot of editing, so I wanted an editing software and that's why I use Riverside. There's a couple other softwares out there that I think I'm gonna play around with in the near future just because I've seen some glitches with Riverside that I'm not a fan of, but I do like that when I'm doing interviews, it records each person independently. So if I'm talking over someone, I can separate our voices. I can zoom in on whoever's talking and it's... Unlike zoom, if I'm on a zoom call and I lose internet, I lose that portion where this will record independently and then upload once it's done recording. there's a couple of features to this that I really like, but then I think there's some other options out there I'm going to play around with. But as of right now, this is what I have and this is what I use. So, You don't need anything super fancy. I talked about doing a podcast for four years before I did it. I did all this research. did all these training classes, courses, all the things on doing a podcast and then never did a podcast because I kept forgetting all the things that I would learn because I am a kinesthetic learner and I learned by doing. And so all of this time I'm doing all the research and learning. I'm not actually really learning anything because I never did anything. I learned more. in posting my first episode than I ever did by all of the research that I did prior. So, procrastination is a real thing and I will say progress over perfection. Like I know right now this is not 100 % a perfect episode. The audio is probably not gonna be great because I'm not using my microphone and then I'll use the enhancement on Riverside and it makes it kind of sound tinny and robotic. But it's better than like the echoes and the background noises and whatever else that you can hear. So I pick and choose my battles. So yeah, so that's how you start a podcast. Progress over perfection. Just do it. If you want to do it, do it. And then learn as you go along. That was the hardest thing for me because I am a big perfectionist. I'm a recovering perfectionist and I want everything to be perfect before I put it out there. And it's just something that you have to get over that I had to get over. So just make progress. I'll do a couple more questions and then I think I'll leave you guys alone. What's a secret that you can share? Why do you always want to know my secrets? I know it's weird because everybody else tells me their secrets. Like I have so many people that just like, I don't know why I just told you that I've never told anybody that and that happens to me a lot. so everybody tells me their secrets. I'm not so good at sharing secrets. I don't know how secret this is, but I want to basically sell everything I own and buy a van and travel the world in that van. And I'm struggling because I have been really materialistic in the past and I'm still kind of attached to a lot of things. Also as a professional mermaid, I have a lot of costumes. So if I'm to travel, like I just went on a like a month long tour where I traveled like I traveled across the whole north eastern part of America. I was in Maryland and Tennessee and Florida and Missouri and Indiana. was a whole, it was fun. And I just did that in my SUV. Luckily I I had hotels to stay at. had campgrounds and things, but I just felt like I was, spent a month. rearranging all my things because I didn't have a specific home for stuff. Everything was just kind of wherever I could get it to fit for the purpose of wherever I was at the time. then they got really chaotic. And that was just a month. And I only took what I needed for that month. And I can't imagine just trying to have everything that I need in a van for long term purposes. And from all the builds and things that I've looked at. I don't see the storage amount or if the storage is there the weight restrictions might be a problem. So I have a lot of things that I would need to bring for costume purposes that a lot of people don't. it's that's a secret that you know as I want to I want to buy a van and I want to live in the van and I want to go travel in the van and and see as many of the pretty things as I can. So there's there's a secret. uh Last question. Which one do I want to do? What's your biggest struggle? I will say burnout is my most recent struggle. about that? I parenting is probably the hardest struggle, but that's a lot for everybody and it's constant and it's ongoing and it's never ending and never changing. To be a good parent is hard because I read a parenting book by Dr. Shafali. I can't think of the name of it. Please don't hate me. She basically wrote this whole book on parenting and talks about how to fix yourself. The whole premise of the parenting book is to be a better person individually and I feel like that's so relevant because as I've learned and grown and developed as a human, I've been better able to have good hard conversations with my children and apologize for things that I didn't know in the past and strengthen our relationship now as adults. So, my youngest is 17. at the time of this recording. you know, my children are grown for the most part. so having real conversations about, know, hey, I'm sorry I acted like this when you were this age because I didn't know this. And now that I do, I wish I could take it back. just having that conversation is really helpful. So parenting is definitely one of the biggest struggles, but I would say one of my most recent struggle is burnout. Like I'm really burnt out of this house. Like I talk about wanting to buy a van and live in that. And it's because I never really had my own space. The only time I had my own room was when I lived in the apartment with me and my daughter. that was the only time and that was like for like three years or something. So I've had my own room for three years. Out of my entire life. My entire existence. I've had my own space for three years. So I really, I think I'm more attracted to the van idea because it would be mine. It's my space to do whatever I want with. I don't have to worry about somebody else messing up my kitchen. I don't have to worry about somebody else not making the bed or putting things back where they go or just trashing the place or destroying things. And as a very materialistic person, it was really hard for me to incorporate other people into my life that weren't raised. I won't say weren't raised properly, but that weren't raised the way that I would have preferred. didn't know how to take care of things. I grew up with a lot of lack and so anytime I got anything new, I took care of it as good as I could because I wanted it to last forever because I didn't know when I was going to get something new. And my stepchildren didn't grow up in lack. They didn't have those concerns or worries. So they didn't really take as good of care of things as I would have liked them to. And that was a big point of contention early on. And as I've detached from things, I've learned that it's okay to let go and I try to get out of that lack mindset, like there's more and if it's not meant to be here forever, then it's okay if it goes. So there's a lot of that, but I'm so burnt out of this house. I don't have my own space. Everything is everywhere. I don't want to rearrange anything. Everything's just, I'm tired of cleaning it. I got real burnt out of my relationship rather recently and... I get burned out of my town, my state, my country. I just get burned, I got burned out of all my jobs. So it's just, it's a lot of burnout that I'm dealing with and I'm trying really hard to be preemptive and backpedal and I'm learning how to deal with it. And I did a whole episode on burnout and I can link that in the show notes where I just shared everything that I learned rather recently when I was like, oh, what is wrong with me? I'm, I'm burnt out. I'm burnt out of everything. And so I was doing a lot of research to try to figure out how to deal with my burnout. And I've done a really good job for the most part on a lot of it, but there's a few things that I'm just like, I cannot get out of my own head about. And so it's a struggle. A lot of the podcast episodes I do, I don't claim to know everything or be an expert in all of these areas. These are things that I personally struggle with and I have done a lot of research and learned about to try to help me. And I want to share that information with you because I know if I'm struggling with it, there's a good chance you are too. So if we can all work together and try to do better, then why not? It's always more fun to work with someone. So, I do the whole episode on burnout and I share everything that I've learned and some of it was really helpful. I was burned out on a lot of things. And right now I feel like I'm just struggling with a couple. And that's helpful, but that is definitely my biggest struggle. There are all my secrets. ah Thank you so much for hanging out with me today and listening to me go deep about my own life. I hope this was fun for you. If you enjoy my show, please leave me comments, likes, shares, reviews, do all the things so I can keep bringing you this fun content. I hope you have a good day. Let's go do life. authentically.