The Hidden Addiction Controlling Your Life (And You Don’t Even Know It)

Summary

In this episode, Layla Dawn explores the pervasive issue of overconsumption, particularly in the realms of information, digital media, and material goods. She discusses the psychological and neurological factors that contribute to this behavior, including dopamine addiction and the impact of constant digital stimulation on creativity and mental health. The conversation also delves into various types of overconsumption, the science behind it, and practical strategies to combat it, encouraging listeners to shift from passive consumption to active creation.

Takeaways

Overconsumption is often hidden in plain sight.

Information procrastination can lead to stagnation.

We may not realize our addiction to consumption.

Digital media consumption can weaken impulse control.

The dopamine feedback loop drives our consumption habits.

Creativity requires mental downtime and space.

Implementing learned information is crucial for growth.

Setting boundaries with technology can enhance focus.

Mindfulness practices can help combat overconsumption.

Community support is vital for accountability and growth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Overconsumption

01:38 The Cycle of Overconsumption

05:12 Understanding the Psychological Triggers

08:02 The Impact of Digital Media

10:20 Material Goods and Emotional Consumption

13:33 The Dopamine Loop and Instant Gratification

17:42 The Science Behind Overconsumption

21:38 Self-Reflection and Breaking the Cycle

30:17 Overcoming Analysis Paralysis

31:18 The Impact of Information Overload

31:46 The Importance of Downtime for Creativity

32:43 Mental Health and Cognitive Function

34:33 Creating Before Consuming

38:20 Strategies for Balanced Consumption

48:47 Accountability and Community Support

54:35 Embracing Imperfection in Creation

Links

https://youtu.be/f3B2zEKNF8M?si=-uaPFnp_eIHMKJ5P

https://youtu.be/31emlrbCi0o?si=IiHPJhHRvyFytjHE

https://youtu.be/dN6mVsmKiR8?si=mKBVlZVrkGziJN3o

Transcript

0:00

What if I told you that most of us are trapped in a loop that we don't even know exists? A silent addiction that's stealing our time, our creativity, and maybe even our purpose. the craziest part, you might even be doing it right now. Welcome back to the do life podcast. I'm your host, Life Coach Layla, and today we're going to be tackling an issue that's hiding in plain sight. And that's our addiction to consumption, to overconsumption. Many of us don't even realize that we're doing it. But the truth is, it's shaping how we think, feel, and create. Or don't. Have you ever found yourself stuck in a constant loop of learning or reading or scrolling social media or putting things in your Amazon cart or going back to the fridge or the cabinet or the pantry multiple times for no reason even if you're not hungry? What about binge watching your favorite shows or signing up for courses and never actually implementing the lessons you learned before jumping into the next course? Basically what I'm asking is are you consuming more than you're creating? Are you aware this is or might even be an issue? A block, a hindrance? If this is news to you, then you're not alone. In a world that bombards us with unlimited information and entertainment. knowledge and distractions. it's easy to fall into the trap of overconsumption. But what if I told you that breaking free from this cycle is easier than you might think? especially if you're just learning that this is an issue in the first place. And what if I told you that breaking free from this cycle could unlock your most creative and productive self? If this sounds interesting to you, then stick around because in today's episode, we are going to learn how to break free from overconsumption and reclaim our creativity and imagination. So let's get into it. Hi friends, welcome to the Do Life podcast where we talk about life, its challenges, and some common ways to overcome those obstacles with cutting edge technology. scientific research, and a splash amount of physical properties. I'm your host, Life Coach Layla. I'm a certified life and business coach, a trained facilitator in the six phase meditation specializing in forgiveness. I'm also studying NLP, RTT, and hypnotherapy My goal is to share my information and knowledge with as many people as I can and save them the time of effort of doing all of the research themselves. So if that's something that you resonate with, let's see what today's episode is about. So whether it's binge watching Netflix or porn or endlessly scrolling on social media or reading without application or... eating or or overconsumption in anything in general. can block our ability to create and grow. And this is a recent observation of mine as I was inadvertently called out by a mentor. She was creating a course and I went to the master class and when she got to the end and the offer where she was asking everybody to sign up for the course that she had created, she said, not to waste her time or yours by signing up if you're not going to implement the techniques. And I was so triggered because I was so guilty of that in so many ways. Apparently that's been my MO for quite some time and I had zero idea that I was just learning, learning, learning and over consuming information. I was hoarding things in my brain and maybe that's why I ended up making this podcast because it was just so much in here I had to get it out. But the fact that I was just hoarding information, I was learning all these things, but I was never actually implementing any of the tips or tricks or learnings or teachings, none of it. I would just get so excited that I learned something new and then move on to the next thing without ever implementing it. And I'm so taken aback at how long it took me to realize that That was a problem. And it may not be a problem for everybody, but it was definitely a problem for me because it's wasteful. am consuming, consuming, consuming. And I thought because I was learning that it wasn't a problem. But basically when she said this phrase, I was so taken aback that I was like, whoa, let me feel this out. I was so triggered that I was like, okay, what is this trigger? Why do I feel that? I was like, oh, because I am that person and that is what I do. And again, she wasn't talking to me directly. She probably didn't even know that I was guilty of that. It was just a blanket statement that she had said to a whole class full of people that I just resonated with it and I was not happy about that. So I want to start off by talking about why we overconsume and the science behind it, because that's what I do. But overconsumption isn't just about being lazy or... or procrastinating or anything like that, So there's actually a psychological and neurological reason behind it. So I had heard of the phrase information procrastination, but this was a whole new level of stagnation that I was not even aware I was guilty of. In fact, I used to judge my partner because he is constantly entertained. On his phone 24 seven even has like one of those big old battery pack cases on his phone because he's on it so much, even though he's in the car and charges it and uses the battery case like it's a lot. It's constant. It's constant entertainment. He's listening to music. He listens to music in the shower. He's playing on social media. He's watching YouTube clips or whatever porn sports music like it's just. constant bombarding of information But it's like his brain was never left unattended. Like he never had time to think or be in his own thoughts or spend time with himself. And when we first got together, it was a problem. Like he hated being left alone. He didn't want to think or anything. And that was a thing that I knew. But as we progressed and evolved in our relationship, I thought maybe that would kind of go away, I guess. I don't know. Or maybe I just didn't realize it was as deeply ingrained. as it is, but I thought that he was so wasteful. He was just wasting all of his time being constantly entertained where I was spending my time so much more effectively because I was learning things. I was taking classes. was reading. was gaining information instead of just being entertained. And when I did a deep dive into this topic after I was triggered, I realized that my overconsumption of information wasn't much different. Yeah, I'm building different neural pathways and I'm doing things that has a positive impact on my brain neurologically because of the active thought processes, But it's not much better than what he was doing, other than I was gaining a different type of information. But again, I didn't implement any of it, so what was the benefit? And I will say that the biggest difference is I give myself that space and that time to think. You from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, he's on his phone constantly wakes up, grabs his phone, plays games, reads notifications, does the thing. I give myself a break. He's got to listen to music in the shower. I need my shower thoughts. I come up with the best problem solutions and ideas when I'm just having random shower thoughts. And I know a lot of people that do that because when you're in the shower, it's relaxing and you're just kind of thinking about what you're doing, but you're almost on autopilot. so your brain has that freedom to be like, Hey, here's things that you're not consciously interested in learning or thinking about, but it's been in the forefront somewhere. So I like my silent showers because I come up with so many different things or even just have a good meditation and just relax. I just, my brain needs a break and I think everybody's brain needs a break and just to be silent and to sit with your own thoughts and when you're avoiding that, I can be problematic in its own way, or form. But basically what I'm getting into is that... We're addicted to consumption. We might not even know that we are. And it's not just over consumption of things on our phone. It's staring at the TV for hours. It's going to the kitchen multiple times for a snack or another snack and another snack or booze and alcohol or gambling or you know, there's so many different things that we could be over consuming. And unless you're made aware of it, you're going to continue to do it. I have been over consuming information for years and was just recently made aware of it. And it has been so impactful, the changes that it's made, mostly because I'm still, I don't want to I'm still addicted to over consumption, but I think we all are to a point. But I break that up. So I'm not just consuming, consuming, consuming. I break it up with activities. So if I do learn something, I will implement it. I won't learn anything else until I've implemented. the last thing I've learned. So I've done small little baby steps to make my situation a little bit better and break it up and kind of be more mindful and cognitive of what it is that I'm doing or not doing. And we'll get into some of those things a little later. yeah, just being aware of what you're over consuming and knowing that consumption itself isn't inherently bad. We need information and nourishment and... entertainment and even material goods. But when does it cross the line into overconsumption and or addiction? Let's break down some of the biggest culprits and the psychological behaviors behind it. So the first one we'll tackle is your digital media, social media, digital entertainment, movies. streaming, entertainment, visual entertainment in general. So we justify these behaviors by saying, well, it's my way to unwind. I need to relax. I need to stay informed. The psychological behaviors behind it are basically fear of missing out instant gratification, escapism. procrastination. a social validation addiction, especially if you're constantly checking followers and likes and reviews. The next type of overconsumption is like food and shopping, material goods. So food and shopping, how many times do we fill our Amazon cart or our wish list or anything else like that or like I said earlier going back and forth to the the refrigerator or buying groceries, just buying things in general. And again, we justify it with, I need a treat. I've been so good on my diet that I deserve this. Or it's on sale. I'll never get this opportunity again. It's a seasonal item. So from the psychological aspect, you get your FOMO, your fear missing out. You could possibly have impulse control issues. There's some subconscious programming, scarcity mindset. And did I mention impulse control? I think I mentioned impulse control issues and emotional regulation is another reason that we over consume material and nutritional goods. I have a lot of supplements. I was doing the research on all the different supplements and then would buy the supplements and then forget what they do. So just have a drawer full of supplements. like, what is berberine for? It was for my blood sugar regulation and things. And it's just one of those things where I was just buying and consuming and... It was an addiction. I'm going to be so real with you. I was addicted to buying and consuming things and not even necessarily using them. I just had a drawer full of supplements that I didn't use because I couldn't remember what it was because I was consuming information and not implementing any of it. And by buying the products, I wasn't necessarily implementing. I wasn't doing anything with that information other than buying something and then using it for a week and then forgetting about it. So that's an addiction. That's overconsumption. And that's a problem. At least for me it was. And then the whole reason we're here today is the over consumption of knowledge and self help or information in general. I know a lot of people will just read and they read and read and read and that's great. It's good for your brain. But what about your creativity? What about your own creativity? It doesn't matter if you're reading. fiction or nonfiction, if you're taking classes or courses, if you're just reading magazine articles or whatever it is. We justify it by saying, you know, I need to be prepared. I need to know things. Knowledge is good, right? I'm entertained and this is my escape from the stresses of the real world or whatever we tell ourselves. This is a life skill that I can use to better my income or something. And the underlying issues with this is it's a form of procrastination. perfectionism, it's a form of procrastination disguised as productivity. and also analysis paralysis. So those are the reasons that we overconsume information. And then we overconsume stimulation and entertainment. So video games, porn, gambling, those are things that excite us. those are really, really easy to get addicted to. You hear about gambling addiction and porn addiction and shopping addictions and food addictions. New information you might hear about people having, you know, social media addictions. but these things that overstimulate, not to say overstimulate you, but highly stimulate you are very likely to cause addiction or addictive tendencies. and again, there's a fine line between just consuming and over consuming, and you're going to need to do a deep dive internally and see is your behavior in line with your goals is your behavior hurting, harming or affecting anybody else or even yourself. Ultimately, if you're gambling all the time and you're spending all your money, I come from a family of gambling addicts and maybe I shouldn't tell the Internet this, but. But it's really easy to see how quickly that can evolve. My aunt mom, I don't know if you followed my podcast long enough, I was raised by my aunt and uncle and I called them aunt mom and uncle dad. So it's not in an incestual type of way. It was just family that took care of me when my mom was not capable. And my aunt mom was actually in the newspaper because she had embezzled a lot of money to feed her gambling addiction and was going to commit suicide so her family could get insurance money. I know now typically if you commit suicide, don't get your, your family doesn't get your life insurance payout. Certain policies will do that and some won't, but I don't know if that was even a thing back in the day, but either way, like she was on the news, she got arrested. was a whole thing and I'm not going to give out names or whatever, but she went to gambling anonymous and she was actually head of gamblers anonymous and was there for over five years and helped all kinds of people overcome their addiction and she did such a great job and she turned her life around and it was amazing. And then my mother, my biological mother and my grandmother had a lot of gambling addiction and my mom was doing really well at work and so every dollar she made she spent including not paying the bills, power bills, water bills, sometimes it was... I don't, we're not gonna get into all that, but anyway, because they were gambling so much, they made all these comps and the casinos would give them these, you know, free meals at the buffet or the fancy restaurants and all night stays in the hotel or whatever. And so in order to use all these comps, they would have to use them by a certain point, which is obviously the casino's way of getting you back in there and. I feel like I'm deviating from this episode quite a bit to tell the story. basically what I'm saying is that she started going to the casino to get the free comps and she was just going to go for dinner. But then my mom and grandma wanted to play. then she's, OK, well, I'll just sit and watch. And then the next time, well, you put the money in, I'll hit the button. And then the next time was, well, I could put the money in and hit the button, but it's your money. I'm not gambling. It's not my money. And the next thing you know, she's full on addicted to gambling again. And this is after, you know, five, six years of being clean and helping a million other people with their addiction within two years, not even. Like, I want to say it was about a six month time frame that she was just going for dinner and then she was just watching them play and then she's hitting the buttons and then she's stealing money and sneaking back on the boat again. We call it the boat. I'm from St. Louis where I'm We had riverboat casinos. We haven't had riverboat casinos in forever, but everybody still calls the casinos the boat for whatever reason. It's just one of those things. But I say this to say it's so easy. It's such a slippery slope. So when you're cognitively aware of a behavioral problem, if you watch porn once a week and you do it for eight hours at a time, like, is that okay? if you are finding yourself streaming longer and longer and longer, more and more and more each time, maybe you need to reevaluate your situation. Is it, what are you compensating for? What are you doing? Why are you doing this instead of what you should be doing? Like what should you be doing? I know a lot of times I was procrastinating. So my knowledge in self-help addiction was because I was procrastinating from doing the things. was procrastination disguised as productivity. I thought I was being productive because I was learning things and I was doing things. But really what it was doing was keeping me from being productive, from actually doing anything productive. I wasn't doing anything. I was in information. procrastination, stagnation. I just wanted to get all the information before I did the thing. I thought about doing this podcast for four years before I ever actually did it. That's ridiculous. And the reason was because I didn't want to put out subpar material, but yeah, here we are. but I didn't want to, I didn't want to put myself out there until I knew everything. And the truth is I'm never going to know everything. And I learned so much. in just producing the information and just getting it out there and learning as we go. And most people will fall into the same category. You're going to learn as you go more so than you ever will by consuming all the information. I promise I read information on all the editing and the things and the skills and whatever. And all of that information was gone because there was no implementation. So for four years, I thought about doing a podcast and researched and learned and did all the things. And then I still got out here and was like, my first couple of videos are pretty trashy, but I made a promise that I was going to post them and I did it. so when you're looking into your overconsumption, what's the underlying behavior? What are you avoiding? Like, I know my boyfriend had a tendency to overconsume porn because it was a soothing mechanism. I had a bad day. Let me just watch porn for two hours. I really don't want to clean the house. Let me just look at porn for four hours. Or we made an agreement that I'll only look at porn when she's out of town. So I'm going to watch it for eight hours at a time, three times a day. Like it's a damn second full time job because that's the only time I get to. So whatever your reasoning for your overconsumption, do a deep dive in the thought process of Why am I actually? indulging in these behaviors? Why? Why am I doing these things? And what am I supposed to be doing instead? What could I be or should I be doing instead of this over consuming behavior? If you're going to the kitchen multiple times a day, why? What are you do? What void are you filling with food? Is there an emotion? Do you need to get over a breakup? Do you need to whatever the situation is, what are you trying to escape from is ultimately what I'm saying. Or is it just one of those things that you just you're addicted to that stimulus and you just need more and more every time you do it. It takes more and more of it and you spend longer and longer trying to get that same feeling. There's scientific research that shows that's what happens in social media situations where you scroll and you get the little dopamine reward. And then when you find a good video and then you scroll and scroll and scroll and then you find the same video that gives you the same reward, but it's not as much because every time it happens less and less and less. So you scroll more and more and more trying to fill that, fill that reward center. And that's part of the scientific stuff where we're getting into that. I just keep rambling. You don't mind, right? Cool. So we were talking about over over stimulation in entertainment like games porn gambling things like that your video games we justify it as this helps me escape this is just a way to relieve stress this is my own personal reward and the underlying behaviors because behind that are dopamine dependency, boredom. intolerance, procrastination, self-soothing, escapism. You'll see there's a lot of similarities between these things that we're doing. And yes, people can overconsume in relationships and people and emotional consumption. And the things we tell ourselves is, I just love being around people or I can't be alone. I don't want to be by myself Or I just need emotional support or something along those lines and The reason behind that is codependency. avoidance of self-reflection. and emotional exhaustion. I know I've talked in other podcast episodes about how some people are just energetically draining. and it's probably these people, it's probably if you're over consuming people, you're constantly going to parties, you're constantly going to the bar, you need to be around people, you are so up your partner's butt, you know, you, you're constantly need that you have that codependency and it's energetically, emotionally exhausting for the people around you to constantly entertain you. be there for you, be around you. And I don't speak for everybody, obviously. There's some relationships I've been in where we just can't get enough of each other and there's no such thing as enough and being tired of each other. And that happens. But I will say that in hindsight, it was a bit of an emotional codependency. We were both emotionally dysregulated and we were relying heavily on each other for... some sort of regulation and when we were together it felt good, felt right, it felt normal, it made us feel happy and then when we weren't together we were dealing with everything else that we needed to deal with that we were avoiding by being with each other. Again, I don't speak for everybody but I have seen a lot of codependent relationships where they are just avoiding other things that they need to deal with by completely consuming, over consuming each other. So just something to be mindful of. And then even friends, had friends or kids or one of my daughter's friends moved in with us because she just, I guess it's still just a form of codependency, but she really just needed to be around people. She needed emotional support. She wanted to hang out and it was exhausting for my child. So if you over consume in people, maybe do some self-reflection and maybe that's what you're avoiding in the first place. So maybe you really need to do some self-reflection. But those are, in a nutshell, a lot of the things we overconsume. There's so many things that can be overconsumed and I don't wanna make it sound like it's just our phones. But like I said, you could go to the fridge, you could overconsume. so many different things that it's hard to list, but this is just kind of a blanket, here's the most common. So do some self-evaluation and see where you are and what you maybe over-consume that you're not even aware of. You're over-consuming, because I definitely wasn't aware of a lot of these things before it was brought to my attention. So now we kind of know what we over consume. Let's get into a little more of the science behind why we over consume. So here's what research tells us about why our brains are wired to crave more. something called the dopamine addiction and overstimulation loop, and it's basically where... And it's what I said earlier, where every time we consume TV, social media, TV show, even learning something new. our brain releases dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter. and this creates a feedback loop of instant gratification. And it's like I said with the scrolling. So every time you get that little drop of dopamine, it takes more and more and more to make you feel the same thing. It's the reason cocaine and so many other drugs are so addicting because the first time you do it, it's a crazy release of dopamine. And the next time you do it, it's not as much. So you find yourself doing more and more and more trying to get that same feeling and you're never going to get it. I don't want to say never, you could stop doing it for a while and then do it again. But it's the idea behind it. So anything that has addictive traits to it is going to have that dopamine burst to it. So when we're stuck in this feedback loop of instant gratification. we continue to seek more more instant gratification, making it harder and harder to engage in activity that require more work and creative output. like a deep work session or writing or any kind of creativity. It creates an addiction of passive pleasure rather than the more effortful rewards of active creativity. Psychological studies show that material possessions only... only provided temporary happiness. So when you're putting things in your Amazon cart, the second you hit that checkout button, you almost immediately feel that emptiness. That... I don't want to say dread, but like... Okay, what next? I mean, it's why commercials exist. It's why every time you turn around, there's an advertisement. There's a billboard. There's a commercial on the radio. Everything. Everything is an advertisement. And it's so weird because I hate it. I hate commercials. hate like... We would throw a Super Bowl party every year and everyone's like, you're gonna stay and watch the commercials? I'm I hate commercials. I'm not gonna watch the commercials, especially the Super Bowl commercials because those are just so overpriced and it just, it aggravates me that. I'm not gonna get on my cell box, maybe I will. but basically people who aren't super rich are constantly made to feel like they need to buy something in order to belong. So you spend your money on your bills and then you buy new things and then you're stuck working. Like you can never just enjoy life. You're stuck in the same circle, this loop, because the more money you make, the more money you spend. I dabbled in financial planning and things for a little bit there, and I saw a lot of the same similarities. Somebody would make a little bit of money and have all these bills and things that they couldn't afford and pay for, and they were struggling. And then we would figure it out. They would get a promotion. They would get a new job with a higher pay. And instead of paying off their debts, they would create new ones. So here they are with more money and more bills and more problems and more debt because they didn't fix the habits. They didn't change their behaviors. And all of that's almost like subconsciously programmed in our minds because of media and people and just years and years of programming. again, I'm not going to get into my whole soapbox about it, but I just... I just want you to know that I hate commercials and advertising and I know we're not supposed to hate things. I probably shouldn't say that I hate it, but. But yeah, so when you buy something, it's only a temporary reward feeling. Very temporary before you feel like you need something else and you buy the next thing. This is a cycle known as the hedonistic treadmill. and it keeps us constantly consuming without any lasting fulfillment. There's research in neurological and behavioral reviews done in 2022 that states that excessive digital consumption weakens our impulse control and increases dependency on that passive stimulation we talked about. and then a study published in Trends in Cognitive Sciences in 2021. found that constant digital stimulation weakens our attention span and shortens. our ability for deep focus. making it harder to create original work. It's kind of why like in most schools you're taught something and then turned around and made to do a homework assignment on it because when you're constantly learning something, you're not implementing it. So the homework assignments as a child were meant to help you implement what you were learning. So you keep that creative part of your brain active and you actually retain the information that you're learning. So when we're scrolling endlessly on social media, we're diminishing our creativity, our imagination. Now, it's one thing if you go to social media to get inspiration, but it doesn't take endless hours of scrolling to do that. again, just be mindful behind the motivation for your actions. Something I'm very familiar with is information overload and decision fatigue. I know I've mentioned it a few times, but there's a study by Swellers. Sweller's cognitive load theory, a study done like 1988 or something, and it states that um that your working memory has a limit. Too much information overstimulates it. overwhelms it and it reduces our ability to... think critically or create. And then Barry Schwartz's paradox of choice, a study done in 2004 states that explains how too many options leads to analysis paralysis. where we keep consuming instead of taking action. because we feel like we're never ready to start. And I talked earlier about how I was very guilty of that in more ways than just the podcast. There was a lot of things that I did. As a voiceover actress, I created a whole studio and I bought all the equipment and I built this sound room and took all these classes and courses and then never did anything with it for the longest time because I was afraid of the editing. So I just learned and learned and learned and I'm a very kinesthetic learner like I need to do the thing and I know that so the whole time I'm learning all of these different ways to edit things and how to equalize and do all the stuff and then didn't do any of it because I was just procrastinating Information overload it was too much information and I couldn't decide what what app to download or what software to use or it was the whole thing. But if you've heard of decision fatigue, you've heard of information overload where our brains are just constantly bombarded with stimulation and information. that doing anything creative sounds almost impossible. Stanford University research shows that learning without implementation. weakens memory retention and problem solving skills. And a... and Our brains adapt to patterns, so we're reinforcing passivity instead of creativity. And in order to be creative, our brains need downtime. So that those shower thoughts I was talking about earlier, those when you go for a meditative walk where you just walk in the woods, you don't have your headphones on, you're not listening to anything, you're just walking. That's downtime for your brain. Even though you're visually stimulated, you're physically stimulated, your brain is able, it's free. So in 2019, a study in nature communications. found that the default mode network, the DMN, The brain region responsible for creativity? is most active when we're not consuming any kind of content. And I know this is leaning more towards consuming content as opposed to like food or shopping or anything else, but I just think it's so important because I'm all about your brain. And this study is really important because there's a lot of links to this study and Alzheimer's and dementia. So the more we keep that part of our brain active, the better chances we have in the long run of avoiding long-term mental diseases such as dementia and Alzheimer's. So my grandma had beginning stages of dementia and they told her to keep her brain active, do crossword puzzles, learn things, implement them, and that'll... thwarted off for a while and it did good for a long time, it's just, something I'm very mindful of. When we constantly feed our brain information, we rob ourselves. of the necessary mental space we need to generate our own ideas. And I know I've talked before about my visualization of the brain is just full of scribbles. It's full of scribbly lines. And the more information that's in there, the darker it is because the more lines are crammed in there. So when you're cramming information in there and you don't have any kind of creative output, it's just getting darker and darker and more dense and dense. I also, like I said earlier, the studies that show that, you you lose the capacity to remember things. So when your brain gets so full of stuff, you have so many squiggable lines, you can't possibly fit any more out, you start losing bits and pieces of them. So when you're over consuming all this information, you're forgetting other information that you already learned and which essentially ends up being too a waste of time. Like you wasted it. And I feel like that's why it's so important to just unwind and just be. I spend the first two hours of my day completely unplugged. No, learning, no reading, no, no nothing. I journal, I meditate. I feel like journaling is getting the, taking a line out of the brain and getting it out on paper. I'm making room for things. I'm getting thoughts and ideas and things out of my brain. So there's room for the new things that I'm going to learn that day. So the first two hours of my day are just devoted to not consuming, to creating and and don't check my phone, I don't look at my notifications, I do a meditation where I visualize how my day is gonna go because if you check your phone and your notifications, then you're letting the outside world dictate how your day goes. I don't want other people, factors, or things to be in charge of my life, so I spend my meditation planning out my day and then if I check my notifications and there's something terrible. that doesn't set the mood for the rest of the day because I've already planned the mood for the rest of the day. This is just a minor setback. This is something I can acknowledge, I can be aware of, and then I can move on and let go from there. however it looks to you, like I said, it could just be going for a 10, 15 minute walk after work and no headphones, no nothing, just walking and thinking. It could be taking a shower and no music, no... No nothing, just you and your shower thoughts. However it looks like to you to unwind and give your brain a break, it's so essential for overall mental well-being. And I like to pride myself on having just like a splash of metaphysical properties in all of my content. Well, not all, most of them though. So on a metaphysical level, if we're looking at over consuming, there is the law of balance. where we absorb too much energy without outputting an equal amount of energy. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, goes where attention flows or energy flows where attention goes. said that backwards. This is just lexius fun sometimes. Anyway. If we're constantly consuming, then we're not focusing on our own manifestations. And I did an episode on manifestation and it's not woo woo. There is science backed behind it, but it's not necessarily what you think. I'll link that in the show notes too. But. But we're absorbing other people's creations instead of focusing on our own manifestations. If we're creating something, we're putting our thoughts, our time, our effort into it. We're thinking about that and we're manifesting that instead of just consuming somebody else's content. because The key to manifesting shifting from a passive intake to an active output. So channeling our energy into creating rather than just absorbing. Constant stimulation overstimulates our dopamine receptors. pulling us away from. our higher awareness and inner stillness. many ancient spiritual practices like fasting, silent retreats, meditation, focus on breaking external stimuli to connect to the deeper wisdom within. They also teach us that our life force energy, our prana, our chi, our whatever you want to call it, must flow freely. when we constantly consume, we're not expressing and we lose that balance and it turns into stagnation. So overconsumption puts us in a state of passive receiving. which disrupts the natural cycle of active creation. So to realign, we must give back through writing, through music, through creative art. speaking, poetry, any form of self-expression or creativity. I like to think of it like breathing. You can breathe in, but at some point you have to breathe out. You can breathe out, but at some point you have to breathe in. So when you consume, what are you giving out? So there's a balance. And maybe that's not so metaphysical. All of that's probably pretty scientific too, but I just, thought I would throw that out there. Now that we understand a little bit of why this happens... Let's talk about some things we can do to fix it. Here are some game changing strategies. transform from overconsumption to powerful production. So number one would be to, I like the 80-20 rule. So spend 80 % of your time creating and 20 % of your time consuming. Like I said, if you're looking towards passive, if you're looking to social media or something for inspiration, make 20 % of that what you do and then spend 80 % of your time. creating something. So like, if you love reading, don't just read a book, read a book, read a book. Join a book club, have a conversation with other people, share thoughts, share ideas, maybe write a blog, take notes or use that story to inspire your own and start writing. So reframe entertainment as creation. If you love music, start writing your own. Maybe remix some songs or create a playlist. If you're obsessed with films, write a screenplay or start a podcast, do a film review. So instead of just consuming entertainment, Participate in it. And number two, and this one I've implemented, is make it a rule that you create before you consume. So no social media, no food, no TV, no shopping until you've created something every day. And again, when I say create something, mean, it could be as simple as creating a paragraph in your journal. It could be. could be writing anything. It could be making some sort of art, brainstorming. building business strategies, creating a spreadsheet or slideshow or something, just create something, however that looks like to you. And then number three, schedule boredom time. Schedule time for your brain to be unentertained, unstimulated, just existing. So we need space for ideas to flow. So instead of just reaching for your phone anytime you're bored, maybe go for a walk. Without listening to podcasts or music, just go for a walk in nature. try to do a mindfulness meditation. where you just sit and you focus on something. I did something called the Positivity Intelligence with Dr. Sheerzad where he talks about all of your senses, use your senses, like take your fingertips and feel the ridges on your fingers and just focus on your sense of touch and how... sensitive it can be and just be mindful of what you're doing and how it feels the warmth the texture the Just everything so just find something to focus on and observe it and do a digital detox period. And obviously we all live different lives and so this is gonna look differently to everybody, but how long can you go without social media? I have a friend of mine who refuses to bring her phone places and sometimes it's super annoying, but I also understand her husband will spend the whole day with his phone in the other room because he's working and he needs that attention to do his work without. distractions from his phone. So what does a digital detox look like to you? How long can you go without external stimulation, without using your phone? Can you make it through a shower or a bubble bath and just be? I have a friend of mine, she unwinds by sitting in her car for a few minutes after she gets home. She gets off work and she sits in her car and she just sits there and she doesn't have any thoughts. I mean, it's not like she's like dense or anything, but she's she's just existing. And I think it's a way to unwind from work to not bring that energy into your home. So when you get inside your home, you're de-stressed, you're unwind, it's different. It's a different energy, it's a different approach. So if going for a walk isn't a fun thing for you, I live in the Midwest, it is negative six degrees today, so that's fun. I'm not gonna go outside. It's too cold for me to even get in the hot tub. That's ridiculous. So yeah, no, I'm not going outside. But I could go sit in my car. I could go sit in my car if I needed some silence, some space away from the kids, the husband, the family, or whatever, and just have a moment to just be and give my brain a break from being overstimulated. And then the fourth action plan would be turn consumption into action. when you're learning something, if you find yourself going to the fridge every 10, 15 minutes to eat or drink something, turn it into a reward. How about instead of going to the fridge, you get up and you do 20 jumping jacks. And then if you're still thirsty or hungry or whatever, then you can go. That'll be a reward or vice versa or whatever. You're creating an action to the habit. For every hour of intake, if it's digital or otherwise, give yourself 30 minutes of creativity. So for example, if you take a business course or any kind of school or lesson or class or anything, immediately implement something before you move on to the next course or class or task, which is something that I've done. And I found it is so much more powerful and worth my time and money and effort when I implement the things that I'm learning. immediately afterwards instead of just jumping to the next thing because now I'm getting value out of these things that's staying in my brain instead of just disappearing. And so because of that, I can automatically gauge whether or not I actually got value from this class or course. in going to the next class right away and learning the next thing that it never really dawned on me whether or not I got my money's worth. Did I find value in this? What did I find value in? What can I implement? What do I know now that I didn't know before? So actually taking the time to reevaluate the situation and whether or not I learned something and what I learned helps me better make decisions in the future when it comes to signing up for something else. Instead of just signing up for the next thing, I could be like, you know what? I've already done something similar. I didn't find the value in it that I thought I was going to. And I don't think this is necessary for where I'm at in my business. So that's just something to be mindful of is when you take the time to evaluate what you just learned or what you just did or how you just spent your time and you're mindful of it and you're cognitively aware of your behavior, evaluating it and assessing it so that you can make smarter, better decisions next time is crucial. And number five is use technology to your advantage. Set a timer, set a clock, a stopwatch or something if you are going to use social media. So I would use social media as a reward. So I would do a deep work session for like two to three hours, depending on what I was doing. And then as a reward, I needed to give my brain a break from deep thinking and critical thinking and creativity. So I would give myself 30 minutes to just scroll on social media or. read a book or do something that wasn't work related. But it was timed. I had a timer. So you can do something along those lines. There's a lot of apps out there that are available to you. Freedom, Forest, they can block distractions if you use. day planning apps like motion or other things like that. They can really help you plan your day and schedule time for just nothing. You can also try a 30 day declutter, digital declutter. When was the last time you went through your phone and deleted apps and games and things that you don't even need anymore? remove non-essential content and track the difference. There's so many things. I deleted all the games on my phone and I forgot that I did that because I very rarely play games on my phone. And so when I went to go find a game to play, I couldn't find any. And I was like, yeah, I got mad and deleted them because I wanted to play a game. And I told you, I'm not a fan of advertisement. And every time I would do something, would make me watch an advertisement and I got pissed off. And so I deleted the app and then I got mad because then I realized every single game I had downloaded on my phone was the same way. So I deleted all of them because watching these advertisements was such a big waste of my time as if playing the games in the first place wasn't a big waste of my time. The thought process behind that is amusing in hindsight, but I don't have any games on my phone anymore and I don't miss them. I don't care. I don't need them. There's other ways that I can entertain myself and also not entertain myself. And sometimes I think to just not be entertained. If I do a deep work session for two to three hours, the only reason I went to social media was because I can't sit in silence because I'll keep thinking about the project and I needed to distract my brain. and redirect it so I didn't burn out on that area. And then a lot of times your apps, like my phone will tell me how much I use my phone. Like this week I used my phone three hours less than last week. A lot of times I think like meta and social media like Facebook and things will tell you how many hours or minutes you spent on that app in any given time. So maybe you can gamify it. You could turn it into a game to use less time each week on each platform. And like I said, just using timers and schedules to limit your input. if you're talking about over consumption food in general, like give yourself an eating schedule or make a meal plan or. And again, if you know you're a constant snacker. Add those snacks into your meal plan, but be mindful of when you're eating. So if you find yourself just, you know, watching TV and eating a bag of chips after work, because you're just mindless. This is my way to unwind. If that's what you want to do, fine. But if you want to change that behavior, maybe put a specific pile of chips on a plate. Maybe give yourself a certain serving or something. However that looks to you. But there's a lot of different ways to control your consumption so it's not over consumption in everything in general. and then my last suggestion is a do an accountability challenge join a 30 day writing or creative writing group or challenge or um Find an accountability partner who checks on your progress and don't lie to them. Don't lie to them. You know, I talk all the time about how important your community is. I even have a whole episode on how important community is. I'll link it in the show notes. But who you surround yourself with is so important to your success overall. And if you're surrounding yourself with amazing people and then they're holding you accountable and you're lying to them, you're not doing anybody any favors. But. but make your commitment public if it's applicable. Declare a goal on social media or to friends, supportive friends. One of the reasons that we're here right now is because I was at a women empowering women group and we were talking about building a podcast and I maybe mentioned that I was thinking about it for four years and somebody else wanted to make one and told me to do it and they could use me as inspiration because if I did it then they had to do it and I was like are you sure that's what you want because if I say I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it and she was like yeah I need that I need that push and I was like okay So I used her using me as motivation. So she wanted to use me doing this to motivate her to do it. So I used her using me as my motivation to do it, which is just kind of funny. But we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that. If I didn't declare in a room full of women that I was going to launch my podcast by my birthday, I actually announced I was going to launch it a little bit sooner, but then I had problems, met a band me for a post. It was a funny post in like 2013. It was stupid. Anyway, so that delayed the launch a little bit, which worked out perfect because it gave me time to record a few more videos and have a couple under my belt. So I wasn't strapped for whatever time constraints and whatnot, but declare something out loud to other people because the embarrassment of not following through with it. was that's not me. Like if I say I'm gonna do something, I do it. And so like I'm a woman of my word and I did it. And I know so many people are like that. So if you're thinking of I'm gonna go a week with no social media or I'm gonna. not buy anything, no shopping. I'm not going to put anything in my Amazon cart this week. I'm not going to get one package. Say that to somebody. Tell your husband that you're not going to get one package from Amazon for the next three weeks and have them hold you accountable and don't just hide packages so they don't see it. Actually, don't buy anything. And then if you mess up, acknowledge it and be like, you know what? I screwed up and I bought this thing. I did actually need a spatula because the one I had broke in half, so I had to buy it. I would have gone to the store to buy it anyway or however it is. You don't beat yourself up over it if you mess up, if you put yourself out there and you make a goal or a challenge and something screws up, something happens. I said I was going to launch my podcast on a certain day and then all these other factors went into play and I didn't do it. I didn't beat myself up over it. I just redirected. I said, okay, so this was just a minor setback. I'm going to turn this into a positive. Now I have more time to record more videos so I can launch more videos when I start initially so more people have more content. So I took it and I turned it into a positive. So don't beat yourself up if you make a goal or you mess up or you do something outside of what you say that you're going to do once you realize what you're doing. So however you're over consuming and however you decide to be mindful of it and maybe cut back on your over consumption, give yourself some grace, be nice to yourself. talk to yourself like your best friend would talk to you, hear their voice inside your head and not your own. It's just like every New Year's resolution and every goal setting. So many people are just like, I screwed up. Time to just forget it. I can't do this. I'm a failure. No, you're not a failure. You had a setback. Something happened that doesn't affect who you are or change who you are that doesn't make you a failure that just makes you more aware of the setbacks that happened and take it and turn it into a positive or just acknowledge it for what it is and move forward. Don't let it hold you back or just be like, you know what, that's it, I'm over it. I hate to see that. So. So don't necessarily announce it everywhere to the world if you have a lot of haters in your corner and people who are gonna talk down to you or negatively. When I told my husband I was taking certifications to be a life coach, he had nothing nice to say about it and just completely put me down because he didn't understand it. He didn't understand it because he's not in a growth mindset. He doesn't want any kind of self-help. He's so adverse to it, to a fault. And so... I didn't tell anybody else that I was doing it. was like, you know what, whatever, I'm just going to do it. I'm going to do it. And then I started telling people that I trusted. And then I started telling more and more people. And then I was like, you know what, I don't need validation from him or anybody to do what I feel in alignment with doing. And here we are. So when you talk about what your goals are, what your plans are, what you're committing to doing or not doing, make sure you're sharing it with the right people that will support you and uplift you and motivate you. And if you don't have those people in your corner, find a group. find a support group, find a community of people who will. And when I say community, I don't mean like your neighborhood. I just mean people that share the same likes and interests. It could be a Facebook group. It could be anything. And so the easiest way to kind of get over consumption is to become a creator. When we're consuming, it diminishes our brain's ability to create on its own. So when we become a creator, we take on the identity of a creator. It creates a cognitive behavioral change. So here are a couple powerful mindsets shifts. We all have something valuable to share and you're never really going to be ready. If I'm being 100 % honest with you, I was never ready to create this podcast and share it with the internet. I'm not entirely sure right now, six months into it, that I'm still ready to be on the internet and share. Like I'm still kind of, I still have some reservations about posting. Am I? my new episodes on social media and being like, here's the thing that I'm doing. Everybody pay attention. It's still weird because I still have a lot of reservations like, the editing isn't so great or I didn't have my hair and makeup or the lighting's stupid. I have weird shadows on my face right now or, you know, I am overly critical. So when we talk about here's what I'm doing, I am giving information. am sharing value without being ready. I'm not ready right now to be here talking to you and I'm doing it because I have value that hopefully you find value in this. Hopefully I'm sharing valuable information with you and that's more important to me than being ready. So know that everybody has an important message. There's something somebody can find value from and Maybe you taking control of your shopping or your porn addiction or your gambling or whatever it is that you're over consuming. Maybe in being aware of your over consumption and learning ways to no longer over consume, you can share that information with other people and you can bring value to them. Or maybe you don't bring value to other people other than like maybe immediate family. You're not gambling as much so you can. Buy nice things for your kids or your spouse or whoever. Take your nieces and nephews out or whatever the situation is. but just know that you're never gonna be ready. It's never gonna be perfect. Perfectionism is the enemy of action. Just start, even if it's messy. Again, if you go look at my first episode, please don't. But if you do, it's not great. It's not great. I didn't have the microphone settings right. I don't even think I used the microphone because I didn't want to be in the sound room and it was a pain in the butt to try to move everything. It was a whole thing. So everything's a mess. The editing's not there. The phone quality, I was using a different phone. The video quality isn't there. And it's okay because we learn. And every time I did a new episode, each episode I feel like I get better and better and better. So don't wait for perfection and just start. And even if you don't think you have anything creative to give to the world, write a memoir. Get the thoughts outside of your head. Write a challenge, right? Think about maybe who needs to hear your message. Give your brain a rest. Your brain needs rest to be creative and for ideas to flow. Don't feel guilty for unplugging. My phone stays on silent. My phone is on silent 100 % of the time. I have my watch, so if somebody calls me or messages me, I can see it, but I don't necessarily respond. I have notifications on here now. I'm recording a podcast. I am not married to my phone. I am not committed. to my phone. don't need to be available to everybody at every waking second of every hour of the day. I check my notifications when it's convenient for me. because I grew up back in the day when we didn't have constant access to everybody and I don't think it's fair that people feel like they should have constant access to everybody. If I send you a message and you don't respond right away, that's okay. Me and my kids will respond every couple days or so, because we're busy, we're all adults and we have things to do. I'll message my daughter in Seattle and she'll respond back on next Thursday and be like, hey mom, sorry, yeah, that would be great, whatever it is. Because we're busy and maybe they learn from my behavior, but it's okay that we don't have access to each other all the time. And I just, think the expectation that we should is unrealistic and inappropriate, if I'm being honest. So don't feel bad about turning your phone off or putting it on silent and leaving it in the other room. and going and taking a bath and just relaxing and not being available to anybody and just letting your brain take a break. Do not feel sorry for that. That's part of self-care and setting healthy boundaries. And I've done episodes on all of those independently. And I don't want to necessarily link 18 different episodes at the end of this one, but I mean, I will. So if you want to check any of those out, you can, because those are all very important. Self-care and setting healthy boundaries. include giving yourself a time to reset and your brain a break. So in closing, we're consuming more now than ever, often without even realizing it. Overconsumption rewires our brain, stifles creativity, and... depletes our energy. And the science, the psychological, and the metaphysical all point to the same thing, is that we need balance and And the saying goes, the best way to predict the future is to create it. So we covered a lot today. I don't want to recap. I hope you found value in this. Please like, share, subscribe, comment, do all the things, write a review if you're listening to this on podcast platforms. It helps the channel grow. It helps me get more information to more people. If you share this with someone you think might find value in it, please follow me on socials. You can go to my website and subscribe to my newsletter at www.layladawndoeslife.com does life.com. I will also have links in the show notes for that too. I challenge you. I challenge you to find one thing to create today, to look deep at your daily habits and find what or where you're over consuming and make a goal or commitment to turn that into the 80-20 or something along those lines. What are you going to do to shift that behavior? Please let me know in the comments. I truly do love you and appreciate you for being here. Again, I really hope you find value in this. I will link all the other episodes we talked about below. If you're enjoying this content, I post new videos every week. So until then, let's go do life creatively.