Everyone Needs Community

Summary
In this episode of the Do Life podcast, Layla Dawn discusses the significance of community and social connections in our lives. She explores the science behind social interactions, the impact of isolation on mental health and cognitive function, and shares personal anecdotes about finding her tribe. The conversation emphasizes the importance of belonging and how shared interests can foster deep connections among individuals.

Takeaways

Finding your tribe is essential for well-being.
Social isolation can lead to cognitive decline.
Community gives you a sense of belonging.
Shared interests create strong connections.
Isolation isn't always bad, but it's better to connect.
Volunteering can help build community ties.
Social interactions are crucial for mental health.
Cognitive decline is linked to lack of social engagement.
Understanding your tribe enhances personal growth.
Personal stories can illustrate the power of community

Chapters

00:00

The Importance of Community

07:47

The Science Behind Social Connection

15:57

Finding Your Tribe

23:55

Personal Experiences and Revelations

26:09

Finding Your Tribe: The Importance of Community

30:18

Volunteering: Building Connections Through Service


Links
Do Life Website
Certified Life and Business Coaching
www.layladawndoeslife.com

Lumivitae Buy
https://layla7859158384984.lumivitae.com

Lumivitae Join
https://layla7859158384984.lumivitae....

Biopt

Transcript

0:16

What are you doing? What is this? What is this? in honor of Mermaid Meditation Mondays. Starting this past Monday, the first Monday of every month, I'm going to do a guided meditation as Siren Slayla on the Do Life YouTube channel. Hi friends, welcome to the Do Life podcast. I'm your host, Siren Slayla, I mean, Life Coach Layla and certified Life and Business Coach, a trained facilitator in the six phase meditation system, and training NLP, RTT, and hypnotherapist. So I want to talk today about meditation. and I am so excited because I can talk about meditation forever. I feel it is so integral for so many reasons. There's a lot of scientific research backed on the benefits of it. And before you like say, yeah, okay, whatever, Layla, I've tried meditating. I can't quiet my mind. I've diagnosed ADHD or whatever your excuses are. I want you to know that the definition of meditation means to observe one's thoughts. So a big misconception on meditation in general is that in order to be in a meditative state, you have to clear your mind. That is a form of meditation. There are multiple different types of meditation. That's what like the Zen monks do. I'm not a Zen monk. I'm not qualified to teach you how to be a Zen monk. And we don't have that much time. That's like years and years. I've been meditating for a long, time and I can't clear my mind. So I want you to know right now that if you try to meditate and you can't get your mind clear, that's okay. You're not a monk and you're not supposed to. the idea behind observing your thoughts is when you're in a meditative state and you're focusing on a mantra or you're breathing or whatever the situation is, you're going to have those thoughts that creep in. The idea is to acknowledge them and shoo them off and go back to what you're doing. And then when you're done meditating, kind of think about like, okay, why did those thoughts creep into my head? What was that? Why was that so important in my brain that it took over my meditation? So you're observing those thoughts, not in the moment. When you're in the meditation process, you acknowledge that they exist, send them on their way, and then afterwards reflect. But anyway, there's so many benefits to meditation. There's so many different ways to meditate. And I want to get into all of that today. So let's get started. I want to start out by saying a couple different things. There are a lot of things that can be considered meditation. There are a lot of things that get misconstrued as meditation. So let's talk about the things that aren't necessarily meditating. When you're driving and you're not paying attention to where you're going and you just autopilot and you drive where you go and you show up at your destination and you're like, where was I? That is not meditation because the idea of meditating is to observe your thoughts and when you have no idea what you were thinking for the last 20 minutes, that's not an observation of thought. That's zoned out. That's not a meditation. A lot of things are considered meditation that are just zoning out. Like when you're in the zone, you're cleaning and you got your music going and next thing you know, like you fill the mop bucket and then your house is spotless. And you're like, happened to my time? That's getting lost in like a time loop. That's not meditation. Athletes will get, or artists or someone who's painting and doing things, they're in the zone, which is different from being zoned out. They're in the zone, which is different. It's technically a form of spirituality and subconscious blah blah blah. We're not going to get into all that. It's not technically meditation. It can be very therapeutic, very soothing when you're just painting and you're doing your things, but you're lost in what you're doing. You're lost in the game that you're playing. You're lost in the art that you're making. You're in the zone. You're not paying attention to your thoughts. So that's not meditation. When you're reading something, and you have to reread the page eight times because you were thinking other things. You weren't conscious of the thoughts that you were thinking. You were just distracted. Also not meditation. So that's a handful of things of what meditation isn't. Now let's talk about the handful of things that meditation are. Being in nature. Just going for a walk. Not thinking. tuning into nature to the sounds. and tuning into the birds, the water, the trees, the wind, being hyper aware of nature and going for a walk in nature as a form of meditation. You don't have to clear your thoughts, but you just have to acknowledge, you're paying attention to the sounds and visuals and things around you. So you're not necessarily distracted by the stresses and worries of the day. You're just present. There's a lot of different type of meditations that focus on just being present. I did the PQ system where coach Shirzad talks about slowly rubbing your fingers to your palm and just paying attention to the ridges of your fingerprints and the bumps and just feeling things. Things like that. There's a lot of different. ways that he goes into that. It's an amazing practice. I highly suggest you look into it if it's something that you're interested in. But slowing down and being present definitely a form of meditation when you're just feeling feelings and sensations. I did this earlier in the hot tub. I had my eyes closed. It was raining. So I had cold rain touching my head. I had warm bubbles all over my body and I just felt the sensations. had zero thoughts. I was just there, existing. And it was so peaceful to just be present and exist. And I think, that's probably the number one benefit that we get from meditation is slowing down, this, this life, especially in America is all about the hustle and you know, we got to do this and this and this and this and I'm feeling a little under the weather and my husband's also under the weather So we were, we were on a cruise. got a little bit of the cruise crud and we come home. We both feel equally not well. And he lays in bed and snuggles with the cats while I take care of him. I take care of me. I take care of the cats. I take care of the house. I unpack. I do the wand like, you know, there's, there's all this. pressure and weight and expectations on us to constantly do things and be busy. And I had fever and chills and body aches. So to just go in the hot tub and just be and not do was so welcome. And I think a lot of us could benefit greatly from just taking 10 minutes of our day to just be and not do. And if that's all you take away from this whole episode, then I'm done. Goodbye. Have a great day. No, I'm kidding. some other types of meditation are your basic, you're, you hear a lot of people chanting, you do a mantra. Like I, I'm not the body. I'm not even the mind is one I've done rather regularly, where you just repeat a phrase over and over and over and over again. And then you don't, those are the thoughts that you're observing. So you're not observing other thoughts that are coming in. Again, if this isn't something that you do on regular basis, you might have other thoughts that come in and that's fine. You observe them, you send them on their way and you go back to what you're doing. But when you're just observing those thoughts for 10, 20 minutes, by the time you're done, like you feel different. I don't know how to explain that you just, feel different, more euphoric, peaceful, happy. And you didn't think anything, you didn't do anything, you just repeated a mantra. There's people that will om or nam shama, little chants. There's a lot of different chants or mantras that you can repeat and that's supposed to occupy your brain to keep those thoughts from coming when you're focused on doing that. That's a type of meditation. Again, there is that Zen monk. If you can completely eliminate thoughts, then good for you. I cannot. If you can great. That's amazing. Keep doing it. The most common that I will probably do, on that I will do on my channel is guided meditations. So I will walk you through different visuals, different things to see or feel or think or questions to answer. So the guided meditations are where somebody's talking you through a visual process in your own brain. Those are my favorite to listen to because I can get lost in scenarios and I have just a very active imagination. So those are fun for me and easy for me to follow along with. And then there's a pretty standard, you know, you focus on your breath. This one's good for like in the moment anxiety attacks. If you notice most smartwatches you can't see because I got these little mermaid cuffs on, but I have most of my watches on under them. But your smartwatches will have your breathing and it's just a box breathing. So if you're having a panic attack or you feel really stressed or anxious, you can do three, four breaths in, three, four breaths hold, three, four breaths out, three, four breaths hold. So it's a box. However long you breathe in, you hold, you breathe out, you hold. And that's your box breathing. And that's the most basic form of meditation. A lot of times you don't do it long enough to have any real psychological benefit from it other than that relaxation and that calmness. And you feel that almost instantaneously. Then there's the physiological side, which I do in a lot of meditations, pre and post meditation. I'll have you do a couple of deep breaths in and then you breathe out with that sigh sound. And that tricks your body into being in a more relaxed, peaceful state. when you sigh out like that, it's your body's way of telling your body that life is okay, we're at peace, everything's good, no stress, no worry. And if you can do that while smiling, even more times 10 tricks your body into believing everything is perfect and peaceful, even if it's not. And again, sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. It just depends on how connected you are and in control. Believe it or not, prayer is a form of meditation. When you're deeply in thought and connected to whatever higher power or spirit that you believe in, when you are connected to source and you're having that conversation that, whether it's silent in your head or whatever, you're in a meditative state. Even though you're not necessarily observing your thoughts, you're thinking those thoughts, but A lot of times when we connect to whatever source or power it is that we think that there is, you're not you. You're not your thoughts. if you're praying for someone, you feel the peace of of whatever you're praying for. You're not, you don't feel selfish. You don't feel needy. You don't feel, I need this person to be well and be in my life because of whatever reason. You feel the peace and the things that are going to come from the things that you're asking for. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but either way, praying is a form of meditation. When it's a weird one, it's a controversial one, but I'm throwing that in there just because I do feel when you are praying, you are connected to a different portion of your brain. that is more of a meditative state than a thought process, if that makes sense. And then there's like body movement meditations, Tai Chi, yoga, Qigong, all of those things where you're very... Tai Chi, I hate it. I hate it so much because it's very slow and methodical and you have to pay attention to what you're doing and it takes you out of your brain. Because again, my brain is go go go go go. I want to do a million things all the time. So to slow down is like the worst thing I can do and that's why I hate it and that's why I force myself to do it because it's so good for me to slow down and do Tai Chi and Qigong and all these things. Because you're being very aware and in tune with your body. You're connecting to your body, not your thoughts. So that's why it's more of a meditative state because you're, flowing with your body and, not necessarily thinking of your, your thoughts. You're thinking of your body. So observing your thoughts, observing your feelings, observing your sensations. But being very hyper aware and present in your body, just like being present in nature or present with the feelings around you. Being present is very meditative. So that's a lot of different ways to meditate. And again, if you follow the channel, I'm going to do a lot of guided meditations because I feel like those are the most beneficial for people who are starting out that aren't great meditators. If there is such a thing. So, we've covered the body meditation, the transcendental meditation, which is like the monks and the actual ability to clear your thoughts. We've talked about the mantra meditation, the breathing, the sensations. in mindfulness and prayer. So those are the majority of the types of meditation. Again, there's hundreds. I'm not going to go into all of them. There's very specific types of meditation that all kind of stem from those. And I'm sure there's like one or two that I'm missing, but you get the idea. There's a lot of different ways that you can meditate. So if you don't resonate with any of the ones that I've said, please do some research and look into it and see what works for you. there's very specific meditations of like compassion where you're visualizing love and you're sending it out into the world and that's what you know one of the things that we do with the six phase meditation is and it's just a very specific form of meditation so there's there's a ton out there please do your research if this is something that interests you and if you're unable to meditate in some of the ways that you've tried reach out and see if maybe there's other ways that you can. I'm trying to meditate just because it's so beneficial. So let's talk about the scientific benefits of meditation. So we've already talked about how box breathing can help reduce anxiety and calm you down. Overall, in general, meditation is a very calming aspect. So people who meditate first thing in the morning or even at night or at all during the day are typically more calm in general throughout their life. I prefer to meditate first thing in the morning. And I know that's such a weird thing because most people are like, well, if I just wake up, the last thing I'm going to do is meditate, then I fall back asleep. Make sure you set an alarm or a timer or something the first couple of times you do it to make sure you don't fall back asleep and not go to work or be late or whatever your situation is. because I did have a tendency to fall back asleep the first few times I tried to meditate first thing in the morning. but I do make sure that I'm sitting up now. I personally prefer to meditate lying down. But when I meditate first thing in the morning, I make sure that I'm in an upright sitting position. It keeps me from falling back asleep so quickly. And my morning meditations are only like 10 or 15 minutes long, so I don't have the risk of falling back asleep. And I'm really just in that sleepy, dizzy state. And I just try to observe what thoughts are there. A lot of times I will remember my dreams in that point and I'll remember the dream vividly. I'll write it down and then I'll come back to my meditation and try again and just hear what my subconscious has to say to me in that like half asleep, half awake kind of dreamy state. And some of the messages and things that I get are, are so profound. I get a lot of inspiration for podcasts, ideas for, answers to questions that have been bothering me. solutions to situations, just so much, insight 90 % of our thoughts are recycled thoughts. We just think the same thing over and over and over again. And I feel like when I'm in that meditative state that I'm actually getting the information that I need, whether it's for me or some other higher power spiritual, whatever subconscious, my subconscious is way smarter than I am. Those are the messages that I get in the morning or are from my subconscious that knows all the things that I wish I knew. Let me get, that's not the scientific aspect of it. I derailed from that quite a bit, but you get the point. what I'm saying is that meditating first thing in the morning, you get that insight, those thoughts when you're half asleep, half awake, a lot of artists, a lot of philosophers, a lot of scientists and geniuses used to utilize that time when they were half awake, half asleep to get that creative spurt burst of energy or whatever you want to call it that that, aha, that light bulb. that's, know, I can't remember who it was. Was it Edison? I'm going to get so much trouble for not remembering this. But one of them used to like hold a metal ball in his hand and would fall asleep and take a nap. And then as soon as he would fall into that deep sleepy state, he would drop the ball and it would wake him up and he would be in that zony groggy. And that was when he would get his ideas and he would immediately, he'd have answers to problems and questions, calculations, new ideas, new visions. And he would do that every day. And I really think it was Edison, but I'm probably wrong. Man, I should pause this and look it up. I'm not gonna. We're just gonna go with it today. Anyway, maybe I'll put in the show notes who it really is if I'm wrong. There we go. Okay, I got it. So, but he would force himself to wake up in that like almost groggy state, because that's when his ideas would come. And that's what I feel happens in that meditative state first thing in the morning when you're in that groggy state and you meditate. You get those ideas, you're observing those thoughts that normally we wake up, we brush our teeth, we don't even have our eyes open yet. This helps us not waste that time and just autopilot mode doing the same thing over and over like little robots. This is us living purposefully, mindfully, like we're doing things deliberately. And I think that's so beneficial mentally. And again, I've derailed quite a bit from the scientific benefits. But yes, meditating at any point in time during the day makes you much calmer in the long run. Lowers your blood pressure. helps with sleep, reduce anxiety, just all kinds of good things. I don't know of a super successful rich person that doesn't meditate. Steve Jobs, all those people would tell you that they have a meditation practice or some sort of alone time that they use. And when you ask them what their alone time is, it's a type of meditation, whether they wanna admit it or not. everybody super successful has a meditation practice and I mean I guess I can't say everybody because there's always like somebody in the comments like that one person that does it while they're lying I'm just kidding they're probably not maybe they don't I don't know either way There's a lot of scientific research about the physical benefits of meditation and the mental benefits of meditation. It helps you think faster, clearly. You're better able to problem solve because you're coming at it from a calmer, more peaceful state, not a stressed and chaotic stance. There's a lot of different ways to meditate. The best one, in my opinion, is whichever one you're going to do on a regular basis. So it doesn't matter if I like guided meditations and you prefer mantras. If you're going to do the mantras, that's the best meditation for you. If you hate guided meditation, you can't stay in my voice, you don't want to listen to anybody talking to you, you just want to be quiet. That's fine. If that's the meditation that you resonate with and that you do, beautiful. That's perfect. So yeah, the best meditation for you to do is the one you're actually going to do. And in general, just remember that meditation is like a muscle. You can't go to the gym and lift 400 pounds. You have to work your way into it. So the first time you sit down to meditate and you focus on your breathing, all the thoughts are going to come in. And that's okay, because this is the first time doing it. So don't be disheartened. Don't think, my God, I can't do it. This is terrible. I'm the worst. No, you did it. You did it. Like, do you understand what I'm saying? Like if you sat down and you said, okay, I'm going to focus on my thoughts. And you took two breaths in and then started thinking about all the things that you have to do today. You still did it. You still meditated. You still did the practice. Do it again. And maybe you get to three breaths before the thoughts come in. Or maybe you don't ever. It doesn't matter the fact that you're taking the time to do it. You're focusing and you're being present and taking that time to do the practice is so beneficial even if you never actually like stop thinking. And again, being aware of the thoughts that come in. So when I'm in a meditative state, I will sit and I will focus on my breath. and a thought will come in and I will acknowledge it and I picture it like shooting into space. I'm like, okay, that was that. And then I go back to my breath and then another thought comes in and then I acknowledge it and I shoot it into space and then I go back to my breath. And then I do that for 10, 15 minutes. And I've been doing this for years and a lot of thoughts come in and I'm okay with knowing that I'm never going to clear my brain. I'm not a monk. I'm not gonna get to that state. That's not a thing that I hope to achieve. and I'm aware of that. And so I'm not off put by the fact that I have these thoughts come in. In fact, I think it's more beneficial for me to have those thoughts come in because when I'm focused on not having thoughts, these thoughts that come in, I give attention to after my meditation and think, why was it so important for these thoughts to ruin, not ruin, to infiltrate my me time? What is so important about this thing? Why do I care so much? Why am I so worried about this thing? that I couldn't take 10 effing minutes for myself without this popping into my brain. How do I deal with this? How do I get rid of this? Why is this prominent? And I can do some deep reflecting on the thoughts that do pop in. And a lot of times I'm able to solve problems or let go of things that really aren't important that I was making important, you know? So there's a lot of different things that we can do when we think about the meditation. But I don't want you to get discouraged because thoughts come into your head. The idea of meditation is observing those thoughts. So don't ever think that you're doing it wrong or you can't do it. If you try to do it, you did it. And that's it. That's what I'm going to leave you with. Again, I could ramble on forever about meditation and its benefits and how to do it. But instead, follow me for Mermaid Mondays and I will do a lot of different guided meditations. The first one on forgiveness just came out this past Monday, November. I don't know what day it is. really bad at this. It just came out this past November. This past Monday. It's Wednesday. So look it up. If you want to do a guided meditation on forgiveness, the next one will probably be on the full six phase meditation. I will probably do an episode on the full six phase meditation just to kind of give an explanation of what it is and why we do it and then put out the corresponding meditation. So Look for Siren's Slayla Mermaid Monday Meditations on the Do Life YouTube channel and it's been real. Go meditate and then go do life. Bye guys.